Entry ryt off my cp-
I fl lyk haf f my heart s being ripped ryt out f my chest. Parang bubble gum na nstuck sa buhok, then you try 2 manually get it off..pero madikit e, and it hurts as you pull harder.
Hmm. This is d secnd instance dt iv flt ds kind f pain. As i rflect on ths situatn im in, i begin to see that perhapz ds is how mothrs typicly fl wn their sons devt a rlatnshp wd anothr 'sgnifcant othr'- that is, their partners in lyf. Or myb wd fathers 2 their daughters. Yung flng na npapalitan ka na. Parang black n wht picture sa picture frame. Parng pudpod na tsinelas na sobrng nipis na sa gamit. Parang ung bansot na mongol 2 pencil na ndi na maitasa nang maigi. Malungkot...ito ang mga sitwasyong hnihngi na ng panahon ang pgbbago. Kaht ayaw mo pa, batid mong sadyang kumakatok na ang pangangailangang makibagay at hndi mo na maiwasan, tulad marahl ng bumbay na naniningil na sa utang...o ang ngbabadyang sarap ng pagbahing. O ang nararapat na pagtabi- that is, to step aside, in order to allow a son's/daughter's/friend's significant other 2 pave his or her way 2 his or her side, and with much hope, his or her heart as wel. Yun kasi ang dapat. Parang sa punong manga- a vry important factor for growth is to ensure ample space.
I knw that. Bt i can't help but fl this way. I am sensng dt i am at a stage of trying 2 accept the reality of life's changes. I do realize dt i am easily affectd by parting in various forms...i gues ths is just one f such 'goodbyes' that i hav 2 go thru, on account f d unspokn agreemnt dt there is the risk f farewell-anytime in each rlationship dt i open my door 2. Aftr ol, in social rlatns, like in evrythng els in ds wrld, change is inevitable. We ought 2 live whle cnsciously being aware dt ol is dynamic.
So thus my sadness...bt i knw il b (and i hv 2 b!) able 2 accept d changes soon enuf, mainly for the rlational benefit of othr people. As an aftrthought, buti na rin yun- this just opens my eyes all the mre 2 d fact that nthng lasts forevr, evn rlationshps wch im afraid we smtimes hold 2 dearly. Cme 2 thnk f it, God is our sole Lover who can last as long as the rlationshp He shares with His children. I am being rmindd by my situatn dt as long as i hv ds dvine rlatnshp 2 hold on 2...i nid nt fl lonely or any less of myself. I hav evrythng in the Lord whatever comes (or goes) my way in this life.