Of Stars and Marches

I am beginning to question my personal fascination on knowledge, which kind of borders on obsession sometimes. Sometimes. Some people find it weird...well, most people do find it weird, I think. I mean, how many people do you know are unable to sleep when some impersonal and trivial query pops spontaneously into their minds? Or, do you know someone who actually feels challenged because of some unknown fact that requires an answer?

As far as I know, majority of the world's population would know when to drop the subject (unless we're talking about some issues from the gossip column...which really doesn't tinker my fancy at all).

Anyway, I am doing my kind of monologue again, which is sometimes a habit when I do not watch myself. Hmmm... so with my intellectual fascination... 

Like the other day I discovered that the Twinkle Little Star original has seven stanzas and is not at all simple and repetitive. And it was a French piece... oringinally. I wonder why the folks in that era decided that this would be their chosen anthem for putting the little ones to sleep. I guess I would never really know what kind of deliberation had to take place just to have that song recorded and reproduced as one of the most well-known classics of our history.

Hm. Too bad.

Had I been there, I'd have voted for something more direct (with the lyrics going like, "Baby, I can see the stars, and that means you should start sleeping peacefully and let mom and dad sleep soundly as well.") and tone-friendly (for the voice range of the fathers, I mean). And why sing about twinkling stars? Why not the sun, which seems obviously much bigger and more obvious? (Uhm, wait- scratch that- sleeping time's supposed to be at night.) And WHO CREATED THAT SONG ABOUT CRADLE ACCIDENTS?! And mind you, back to the stars- they don't really stop shining- some people merely allow themselves to be deceived by the rotation and revolution of the earth. Limited views.

And on another day, I discovered that the overly played hit soundtrack every March of each passing year (take a guess)... yes, the graduation march booming endlessly in school auditoriums during commencement exercises in the Philippines...(and do you know that only the Philippines has that for a default graduation soundtrack?)...well, it's not really an oringinal Filipino hit. Really, it's not. Maybe the version is, but not ours.

The original piece was composed by some dude from the 19th century (Giuseppe Verdi, 1871). Some great Italian opera composer wanted to create an impressive march music for the second act of his grand opera (Aida), which gained considerable popularity in his era. The music is basically about a bunch of Egyptian soldiers going back home after defeating their Ethiopian assailants- in simple terms, a "Triumphal March", which is also incidentally the title of the piece.

So now... WHY (and I'm really asking)- WHY are we marching to this bloody victory music during graduation? Hmm... Is it because of the liberating aspect of the event with overly stressed students successfully submitting all the tests, projects, thesis defense, cake, ice cream...whatever requirements there may be?

Well, now...if that's what the wise guys thought of, then at some point they may have gotten it right. Hahahaha.

But that makes the students the victorious Egyptians and the teachers the defeated Ethiopians. Oh. Haha. Cool trendsetting. Brilliant. (I wonder how many members of the academic team found out about this interesting fact...)

Little stars and graduation march...I now wonder how many people experienced happiness over discovering these facts that do nothing to change the course of history. *applause* How many people wondered and used the open window (namely the net) to find out about these things?

Hmm... I'll never know and I'll just shrug it off. Not sensible. Yeah, that's true. My personal and voluntary pursuit of knowledge has no tangible, earth-shattering effect on the rest of the universe. But it does feel good for me- dose of serotonin. But back to my initial q before I forget and publish this without thinking- Why are some people so keen on finding out about things?

I guess I have to accept the fact that I am just wired that way. I believe that is the best explanation I know so far. Should I thank God for this analytical (sometimes over) wiring I got from Him? Oh yes, absolutely. Though sometimes it gets me antsy, well... there are diversions. And I ought to learn self-control.

Got to sleep. But before that, I really wonder- and I am not putting this case to rest- WHO CREATED THAT PSYCHO SONG ABOUT FALLING CRADLES?! I think now's the time to use that tagline- "Think about the children!" (or the babies, if you may- if we're being strict on terminology, ha...)

Shot down again

hmmm... silenced again!
really won't elaborate. i realize that lewis was really right to say that man is too easily pleased. the chasing after the wind is getting tiring. grrr. 

but it is a painfully good reminder not to put our hopes on anything except the Lord. 

Always Yours

Why can't it be?
Why can't it be the two of us?
Why can't we be...

For now I sit and ask and wonder... I wish I understood why... Oh Lord... why lead me to this path... I hate not understanding situations. I hate making hurtful decisions... Can I really trust you to shatter this pain?

That's a rhetorical questions... However I think, however I ask, struggle, go over every detail of certain matters, I believe I will always go back to You and Your perfect will that shall stand undefeated. I will always go back to You, my Lord who has never disappointed me. Not that it's Your priority... after all, Your glory is always first and You deserve it all.You deserve my whole life, my mind, my decisions...all for You. I came from you, and I have always been meant to be Yours.

Yes, I will always return to the Truth. You are all I truly have, Lord... I can only live by You.

White Flag

Composed on Jan.6... I realize that God can work mightily in those who choose to surrender... that is why the place of power is in the place of prayer... in prayer, we surrender...in prayer, we lay down our arms for God to work in us.

At the break of dawn, 
At the rising on the sun,
On Your holy ground,
I lay myself down.

Tired of running,
Tired of fighting,
Tired of always saying no,
Tired of crying, 
Tired of hating,
Tired of knowing I don't know

There is no use
Trying not to lose
When this battle is God's 
And you got to lose it all to God
Got to hand it all to You
Yeah I got to give it all to You

Lord here's my best
I'm saying yes
I surrender to You
I surrender to You
Yielding now
Kneeling down
Here's my will under Yours
Here's my heart under Yours
I surrender
I surrender

Nothing Else Matters

(Inspired by a Psalms verse...
Truly, He is the only one we can truly believe in!)

My worries turn like leaves,
Carried by the wind of your grace.
My wounds fade out to nothing
With the healing of your embrace.

For great is Your love,
Higher than the heavens.
Your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

Stir me with Your unfailing love.
Be exalted forever, mighty God!
My eyes are set on You as the world fades away,
And nothing else matters.

My fears crumble like ashes,
Carried by the wind of Your grace.
My pain is changed to joy
With the healing of Your embrace.

For great is Your love,
Higher than the heavens.
Your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

Set me free with Your saving love.
I thank You forever, mighty God!
My heart is set on You as the world fades away,
And nothing else matters.

And nothing else matters but You, and You, my Lord...

NO (When God says no)

(Composed as I typed. Crazy... but...)

I guessed I wanted to love you and make you mine. But then now, I realize...it's not my choice because it's not God's will. Hm.

Don't you dare go that way again,
It's gonna be the same pain if you begin.
Do you not remember the times of old,
You were left disappointed and so cold?
Over time you were able to get back on your feet,
Understand- that's enough, and this is it!

Remember that I snatched you with a price to pay,
Even if it cost me dearly just to make THE way.
All I did for you because I'm true!
Love is here, and you know- I love you!
Look at me now and forget about him.
You'll receive the best- more than your dream!
Love is more than just your being happy.
Everything you need, you'll find in me,
All the love and freedom you've yet conceived.
Reach out and dare to risk, believe!
Nothing is impossible, you just wait and see!

Two Poems

Been a poet since I was twelve... got the hype after the English teacher told us to write a haiku as part of written exercise.

Enjoy...

1.Musings~

You are not mine, I am not yours. 
I am perhaps yearning for something close to the real thing. 
What is it? Some call it love. 
And sometimes I'm thinking it's you... 
That true love has been standing in front of me for a while. 
Am I in love? I've asked myself. 
Do you love me? How do you feel?
Yet I cannot bear to ask you for real.
For when I think of it more, I realize that I cannot pay the price.
I cannot commit to someone who doesn't seem to understand the gravity of long-term relationships. 
So come, let's leave it in a drawer and forget it. 
Hide the proposal under lock and key. 
Yes, we are single.
Yes, we are free. 
No, I won't ever love you. 

2.The Winning Song

It's a glorious day of celebration
A festivity of friendships and fiery passion
My eyes saw the smiles, my ears heard the laughter
Though a song in my mind sounded so much beter
How time slow-danced as I met your gaze
Embracing my senses through the crowded haze
While everyone else melted away in applause
I saw only you in that moment's pause
Nothing mattered as you held me firmly
Nothing else but your smile, and you and me
Even my heart can never go wrong
Resounding your secret winning song

Don't mind the world as we sway to the sound
Don't mind the commotion of everyone around
All I know is I hear the song
As it tells me clearly we both belong
To the fortunate few who can really hear
To such blessed hearts wthout much fear
Go on and take your hero's stand
Go ahead and feel it, take her hand
All you know is you hear the song
And it tells you clearly you both belong