About to come to an end

I think I am ready to say goodbye to my "pacing the room" phase...and finally walk out the door and go my merry way like the norm...like eight months before.

Anyway, I see not the reason why some guys think that girls are unfeeling creatures not meant for wasting their time on...particularly a teacher of mine in college...hmm. Well, we are all entitled to our own opinions, right, so that's ok...but I think we are like layered cakes, different and hard to discern. And I am NOT unfeeling...HE is, that guy...my personal 'the one'...whatever.

I guess I finally got tired of my cycle of love then leave, love then leave...that I began to realize...what's the use of keeping a fire lit up when there's nothing to cook? Hahahaha...my point is, if I can't even have him, what's the point of loving him...in secret, even?

Yep, unconditional love, as they say...it might even be just infatuation, but what the heck...whatever it is I'm dropping it for real, this time. No use taking time when I know within myself that I'm not telling him, not in a million years...I can't afford to pay the intangible price...

I met him just three hours ago, and he looked great...I hope he knows that...

Then he told me about the girl he's been keeping up with...lovely sweet girl, I can bet...of course I asked a lot of questions...he answered most of them...and he said goodbye...I didn't even get handshake...much less a friendly hug, which I had expected. Oh well...it's not my day...hahaha.

OK, I'm signing off...(in both ways)