Naloloka marahil

Maybe that was what some people would consider morning sickness...hmm...

I woke up at around ten this am, feeling really woozy due to staying up at around 2 am, forcing myself to sleep and forget about my new introspection (which is really weird but that's not really the topic here, so let's leave it at that).

After doing my morning stuff lying down, my brother entered my room and told me to get up and cook rice. I finally pulled myself up sa bed at bumangon na rin after the second call. At tama ang prediction ko kasi pagdating ko dun sa kusina my goodness I see Mt. Everest sa sink (mountain of plates). Of course, unwritten rule dito, I have to wash them all for starters.

Now I know naman nothing's fair and I have already resolved my thoughts with that rule, pero malay ko, maybe it's my impending cold or my waking up at the wrong side of the bed that I started my monologue of 'unfair-why-me' whim alone there while my hands worked roughly with the kitchenwares. When my bro came in I ranted at him, flaring up so badly on why they can't just be considerate enough to wash their own cups at least, come on...

Tapos the weirdest, naiyak pa ko sa inis. I saw the very ruined floor that I had so patiently cleaned, the once orderly living room which was now decorated with varsity bags and soiled shirts from the afterplay of basketball...I just had to feel sorry for myself.

After getting done with dishwashing I marched to my mother's room, dearly wishing to express my concerns regarding this lack of regard. Unexpectedly she told of my brothers to at least clear the living room of their things. At dahil sa naiiyak na naman ako at ayoko lang na makikita nila, I retreated to my room (yung totoong kwarto ko) and mused for about ten minutes, reflecting on what I had felt and done as a result.

At alam kong mali lahat yun...sorry Lord. I had to smile though with the recent thing I read- 'Why God seems to do nothing'. Here's what it is about, more or less:

When innocents get killed or oppressed, we say it is unfair. We mostly have to question why God is doing nothing about it. Of course by faith we know that God is omnipotent, and if he wants to he can just smite down murderers and oppressors. But why does he not do those things?

To answer that, I have to do a bit of analogy. Nung tayo ba nag-aaral before, do we ever think that maybe our parents could do this for us? Of course they could. Nadaanan na nila eh. Pero they don't interfere with the natural course of our learning. Why? because if they do, wala tayong matututunan. Sure, we can get off the hardships easily, di ba- get great scores, be first in our class...pero we don't really grow kasi hindi natin naranasan.

Parang ganun rin si Lord. He has to exercise the art of constraining love. That in order for us to grow in love he has to do as a parent does and let us liberally experience hardships and learn from them.

And here's the most important thing: di ba when the times comes and we realize how our parents have given us so much through learning independently, we become strong and we even thank them, appreciate them, and love them...we learn to trust them more by the time.

Pero tao lang sila, imperfect. Eh what more si God, perfect. Here's the big idea: God wants us to learn the most important thing here in this phase called life: He wants us to discover his greatest love and to trust him fully in spite of everything that's happening around us.

"The factors of the world seem too great that it takes an unshakable faith to see God's kingship, He who sits on the throne that is unassailable yet very accessible to us who love him."