Somehow I find myself typing something in here at this time of the night. It is around one am alreadySunday...September 30? Time flies too fast for me now...yeah, I'm feeling the pressure of being a third year nursing student...toxicity level 100. And for a lazy person like me that's way beyond something I'd call a feat. Hahahaha.
Manifestations of A. Teng, SN in toxic mode:
- No sleep for about 28 hours straight
- Infection of the eye (it's a sty!!! my first sty!!! feels like someone bruised me on my right eye!!!)
- URI development, with secretions (I think it's a cough coming on...wag naman, sinisipon na nga ako eh)
- No dinner the night before, no bfast, no lunch...then dinner, I ate my fill...
- Snobbing Jrep's YM message (it's not the abstinence thing- was really too engrossed with my tasks...and somehow, I fell asleep due to stress...)
- I have two big school bags daily (so big and heavy that even my co-nursing guys call my bags "bato")
- My locker is full from top to bottom
- No time to blog (aaaaaaa)
- Dark shades under my eyes (thank God I don't have eye bags...)
- Disorganized room
- Piling laundry
- Forgetting to take a bath at night and just dozing off as soon as I reach my bed- six times last week!!!
- Crying twice this week
- Pigging out after class
- Eating sisig thrice in a row this week
- Answering back to my ma (my goodness, after a long long long long time na yun, my goodness tlg...I know Lord, it's me)
Kanina I just had my taste of the most toxic duty ever sa female surgery ward, sa clinical division. I have three patients, which is talagang weird na (before this week, the most is 2 lang). Kanina si team leader dinagdagan ako ng isa pa (which makes it four na) just near my bed plus a second year shadow (yeah, that's what they call them...observer, take the vital signs) to "help" me out.
Naturally ayos naman ako with her coming in. I thought I could let her do lots of stuff to add to her green book (talaan ng experience na ipapakita pag mag-aaply na ng trabaho as part of credentials, hehehe). But then since second year nga at nataon na toxic pala patients ko, hala tayo...she was trying her best pero hindi pa tlg ganoon kasanay. I had two stable patients and two patients who had a per hour (the norm and stable regulation is every four hours) monitoring of urine output and intake of fluids, plus of course, vital signs (BP, temp, PR, RR). Siymepre I had to do it for them, kaya nga pasyente ko sila.
Plus, added stressor tlg yung mga bedside relative na kadami naman, as in helloooo this is not a reunion, we have other patients who need the space, get a move on, six hours na kayo nghehello, come on...(wahahaha at this point recklessly rude ako, nyehehehe pero siyempre somehow I get naman na miss namin si 'bunso' so visit namin, ganoon...) And talagang ang hirap gumalaw with them all over the patient (oxygenation, comfort, lessened di ba...) and they keep throwing me questions kahit di naman sila ang husband or someone close tlg. I was giving the teaching to the conscious patient and a sibling, ok na yun, di na ko kailangang maglecture sa buong angkan, hahahaha kumusta naman...ano ito, classroom setting? Yeahehehehe.
As a result, kahit na I had the satisfaction of having control over my duty (which is a first as well) dahil nga wla yung clinical instructor namin (si Sir Valdez ang sub), natagalan ako, and I had to be waited upon by my groupies. Nakakahiya nga eh, pero on the other hand, I don't mind the energy drain (na dinaan ko sa favorite lomi ko sa lacson with KR and Jace) kasi nakita kong na-establish ko na yung tiwala nung mga primary patients ko sa kin, that they trust me to teach them the right pointers regarding their conditions. And I can see through their nonverbal cues that they approved of what I have done for them at the end of the shift. So bakit naman ako manghihinayang sa oras?
Di ba...being a blessing to them...that's enough for me because it is a way for me to honor God.
Chika galore:
I don't know if I should be saying this, pero I am unusually drawn closer to some of my groupmates these critical days. Puro case presentation, patient care record, tests, paperworks...*syncope* (try looking for this word in the net if you're not familiar with the term, hehehe).
Maybe I should open my heart a little more than I think I have...to know them better.
***
Hmm...yawnyawn...lam niyo sa totoo lang this is just like 20% of the stories I have so far about my life right now. Majority lang itong stress probs ko. I should know when to stop and rest. And of course, time with the Lord...dapat hindi macocompromise...
I miss my friends. I miss being lazy. I miss getting rested. I miss my pc gaming time. I miss laughing at my boredom. I miss halohalo. I miss...
OK, I have to sign off...my eyelids are closing (yung isa maliit na tlg due to the sty infection, grr). Wahahaha.
Lovyah all...