The WOW (walk on water) Experience

For the past nights my reading has been about the time when Jesus walked on the water (Jn 6:16-24). A few elements came to my mind while I was meditating on this:

First of all, it was a dark night when it happened.(v.16-17)
This does not seem a lot, but remember that at that time, there were no light houses and coast guards to ensure safety among the water travelers. The danger was apparent, even with a portable gas lamp.

Second, Jesus had not joined them when they set off across the lake.(v.17)
This was one of those times when they felt that they did not have Jesus with them. Their leader was absent. For a bunch of slow-witted disciples, this might have caused them a bit of stress.

Third, there was a storm.(v.18)
Physical absence of the leader plus darkness plus rough weather in the middle of the lake equals a lot of stress for the disciples.

I believe that there will be times when God will be silent. Those times may involve a lot of problems and difficulties. We may be left to feel like we are stranded helplessly on a small boat in the middle of an unstable lake. But as sure as the Lord provides and guides his children, he presents these instances to allow us to practice obedience, allow for a leap of faith, or in this context... a walk-on-the-water experience. And as the disciples had acted in terror when they saw Jesus, we will occasionally find ourselves face-to-face with the unexpected. But in the midst of all the raging waves of dilemma, we can reach new heights in faith and love for our great Father in heaven who works everything in accordance to the purpose of his will.

To B or not to B...that is...not the question

Today I received my food rations for thought. I think it's consuming me...again, this mental torment is not a new case. But the menu is always fresh and foreign to my brain cells... way to go, Lord...

So! Why do I need to baptized? What is the significance of being immersed in pool water on some church-appointed day?

Truthfully, this is new terrain for me. I did say that to my dear mentor who taught me about it. Knowing that I know not much about the subject, I keep myself from formulating my certain opinion regarding this. Several have told me that it's only in the experience that anyone would ever truly understand it. Probably much like marriage. Or temptation. Or Shakey's Hawaiian thin crust pizza, which I just consumed four slices of prior to typing this. Hehe.

Kidding aside, I now ask: Why do Christians need Baptism? Why do I need to submit myself to Baptism? How does this differ from the Catholic rite of Baptism?

Comparably, the Roman Catholic baptism is given to infants, or as soon as possible, and there is a prescribed formula verbalized while water is being poured on the head of the one being baptized. The Christian baptism comes by decision, which is very much emphasized (at least that's how I understand it).

After asking around, I came up with this view:

Baptism is NOT a prerequisite to salvation- meaning that even though a person does not have it, he or she will still be saved by grace through faith in the Lord. It is more of an outward manifestation of one's personal faith in the Lord.

Baptism may well be compared to a wedding. The marriage of the two people (with God of course) is the main thing. But most couples opt to have a wedding ceremony, right? Why? Not because they need it to secure their marriage. The wedding is more of a celebration, which is a way of proclaiming to everyone that they are accepting one another in the holy work that God has called them to. Even without the wedding, they are finely married. But the wedding is a good opportunity to glorify God.

Anyway, I just say these out of knowledge. After about twelve days, I will finally understand by experience. For the meantime, God has granted me the excitement and anticipation that I need to look forward to it... accept this not as a necessary ritual, but as a celebration of faith in the Lord, who saves.

Proof

Just recently, a girl asked me how I got the unwavering trust in God. So I wondered there for a moment, "How do you get to that point wherein your trust in God is the surest thing there is for you?"

In my logician mind I pondered before answering. The girl who was asking me was a new believer. Should I shoot Biblical statements regarding Christian salvation? Should I answer from the doctrine? 

There are many possible ways to answer this sudden question, but here's what I gave her so far:

If you're looking for a definitive proof of God's existence, then there is none. But I can tell you that there are moments when I sit back and think about my life. From the time when I had received the Lord to the recent times, I must say that I am truly better off...much better than before, than the last year, than the last month... I love God more oday than yesterday. Had God not been here, then I would not have lived this long. 

She asked me, "Are you happy?"

Yes! Of course life is not perfect and there are problems. But the problems do not matter so much when I know God is taking care of me. I may even create the problems but as long as I am surrendering them all honestly to God, then I am growing. And I am all the more free and happy. And at peace. :) 

"You really must have some self-control..."

I cannot ever be strong all by myself. It's all about God.

I realize that no matter how hard we search for irrefutable proof of God's existence, we may never find any, unless of course we look all around and connect the natural world to the supernatural world...and realize that this is all God's order of things. 

And because we have no absolute proof for human perspective/logic, then all we have, is, humbly...our life testimony. For me, this is overly humbling, being chosen by God to represent...to be his ambassadors to unbelievers. It is an extraordinary mission to be sent by the Lord to continue what he has started. *sigh*

Living Sacrifices

Bilis ng sagot ah. *freaks out* Oh no, Lord... Why now...

Moments after writing about the previous entry, the answer came, specifically as to why women were designed as gifts for men...grr...

"Therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the patern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- His GOOD, PLEASING, and PERFECT will." (RO.12:1-2) 

OK lang, brothers naman ang sabi eh. Wahahaha. OK, fine Lord... let me think about it. Lord!!!

Good night. Enough for tonight!

Not quite surrendering all (at least not yet)

Tonight I am dealing with a difficult task: To pray for my... *cringe* I can't even write it down now.

Oh Lord. Can I wager? I'll pray for anything else- a million dollars, world peace, my love for math. Anything except that!

Hah... talk about Lordship... Obedience is like forgiveness in the sense that it's easy to say except when you have something to actually forgive. Or obey. Hm.

Recently the Lord strongly prompted me to pray for...*sigh* my love life. Grr. Unthinkable, if you ask me. Why? Because of all the silly complications in the world, love is the most difficult to deal with. Come to terms with it, and you'll wind up floating with wings on your shoes. DON'T come to terms with it, and you'll end up with a death wish. Or just death, if you're lucky.

I know exactly how silly I sound. The rebel in me is the typist at the moment. I mean come on- how do I deal with instance that God is prodding me- I mean prompting me- to pray for that one thing I don't like? Yeah, well...I consider myself well and able to talk about relationships, and yeah, I've even read a lot about courtship, marriage, and divorce. But seriously considering it for myself? Oh, unheard of. Theoretically, love sounds profoundly intriguing, but involving myself in such schemes is... *shudder*

So why do I resist praying for my love life?

1. I think that if I do NOT pray for it, nothing will happen. I will be happily single, and I can contribute freely to the community and my family.

2. Conversely if I DO pray for it, something is bound to happen and I won't get my gift of celibacy. Like everybody else, I'd go through with the process of union and procreation...perhaps suffer childbirth...get up in the wee hours of the morning to cook (Prov.31:15), grasp my spindle and work (v.19)...are you kidding me?! Me, be a mother, wake up early, and spin thread?!

So why do I really not want to marry?

I simply think love is the alibi that people use to glorify the mundane mode of union and procreation for the continuity of the human race. It's all hormones and vital signs. It's about natural selection. Nothing new about it. Yet people choose to go with what has been the usual recipe for survival. Hm. Of course it is still God's gift, His majestic design, but I don't want to have a part of it. Maybe love is a miracle for others, but not for me. I'm not into mystics.

Also, a few minutes ago, a friend of mine showed me a copy of an excerpt from "When God Writes Your Love Story" and I felt restless as I read about how women are designed to be gifts for men. Here's the line that prompted me to write this entry:

"As women, we are designed to give ourselves completely - emotionally and physically to one man. And there is a deep need inside of us to be loved and cherished for a lifetime by the man to whom we give the gift (of purity)."

I cannot accept this. No way am I just a 'half' of some wise guy who expects me to wait on him. Ha! No way! Are men and women not equal in God's eyes? Then why does the woman have to be 'incomplete'? And what about the reality of single blessedness? Does that mean this life is lacking? I don't think God is unjust to such people.

Speaking on that matter is the apostle Paul. Paul wrote in his letter that it is better for the singles not to marry.(1Cor.7:8) Why? Because he probably knew well the commitment involved in doing so. Of course, in marriage, the woman must submit to the man (again, which is my pain). And both of them have to work for the household. Which means less time. And according to a friend of mine who is happily married, even personal devotion schedules need to be revamped- one for God and you, one for God, you, and husband, and one for God, you, and family.

And the process of childbirth..! The moment I first saw the head of the baby crowning to get a first peek at the world, I closed my eyes and prayed, "God forbid! Not for me!"

...

Oh Lord. Let me be a celibate. I know how childish I sound, and I know you already have something mapped out for my future, but can I not kindly impose..? In tears I ask for this. I really don't want the life of a plain housewife.

To those of you who have the desire and would really want to be married- I hope you know what you're wanting. I respect your desire. As for me, I will remain stubborn... at least for a while, for the meantime...