If letting go of my hold
is your one heart's means
To embrace true happiness
beyond what is,
Then who am I
to deny you the chance?
All the choice is yours-
as my love is- in this dance:
Kindled by a wish to still hold fast,
Empowered by the will to part at last,
...
Still I know I'll let go in the final song
Then in my dreams and tomorrow, you'll be gone, so long...
Run free, my heart, my love, my soul.
Unfurl your being that yearns to be whole,
Endear your reality to the fullness of your bidding,
Lose yourself in aspiration...and if you must...
Lose me.
Over mirthful times and glorious heights,
Veil the love that's meant to let you be...
Everything you want...
...yes, you are free.
Lord, we need to talk...
(11.30.09)
Lord, I just need to talk with you. See, I have this problem I can't seem to get out of my head. It seems like I'm handling it solo again as before...but I don't want that, knowing I'm really nothing without you. So what do I do? You know more than anyone how my heart's been badly broken this month...and though in reality it's just a month, to me it's like a decade of suffering. I know about bearing the consequences of following my own folly and just getting up past the torture...but you know how this feels like more than I can bear, and I don't know why...even after having said, "I'm over it!" like twice or thrice I think...I never really do. I need you Lord to reveal to me...am I faking it? Do I not draw strength from you? I want to, my only chance to recover is you...I know you have every right to punish me for all that I've done...but even as a God of just anger, you are, as much, a God of mercy and forgiveness. Lord, I have asked for your forgiveness on this matter...I am asking for you forgiveness again if I have hidden faults I have not surrendered. I am sorry Lord...I want to stop hurting day by day...am I pushing you away in the process? Maybe to harden myself...I don't know. So let me know.
Lord, I just need to talk with you. See, I have this problem I can't seem to get out of my head. It seems like I'm handling it solo again as before...but I don't want that, knowing I'm really nothing without you. So what do I do? You know more than anyone how my heart's been badly broken this month...and though in reality it's just a month, to me it's like a decade of suffering. I know about bearing the consequences of following my own folly and just getting up past the torture...but you know how this feels like more than I can bear, and I don't know why...even after having said, "I'm over it!" like twice or thrice I think...I never really do. I need you Lord to reveal to me...am I faking it? Do I not draw strength from you? I want to, my only chance to recover is you...I know you have every right to punish me for all that I've done...but even as a God of just anger, you are, as much, a God of mercy and forgiveness. Lord, I have asked for your forgiveness on this matter...I am asking for you forgiveness again if I have hidden faults I have not surrendered. I am sorry Lord...I want to stop hurting day by day...am I pushing you away in the process? Maybe to harden myself...I don't know. So let me know.
Hindi na mababawi- sponge cola
Ngayo'y aking inuunawang pilit
Mga pagkukulang kong iyong ginigiit
Sana'y malaman mo na tanging ikaw lamang
Ang aking iniintindi
Nakatanim pa sa'king alaala
Pangako mong mananatili ka
Kaya't paglisan mo'y naiwan ang pusong ito
Na ngayo'y bitin na bitin
'Di mo na mababawi iniwang sakit
Sa mga salitang binitiwan mo
Hindi ba't ikaw na rin ang nagpasya, nagtakda
At siyang unang umiwas
Bakit nga ba ako'y iyong pinaasa?
Nasa aking guniguni malamig mong tinig
Kasabay ng hanging na dumarampi
Na para bang ika'y nariyan sa aking paligid
Tahimik na nagmamasid
Nahulog na'ng mga ulap, buwan at araw, mga bituwin
Ang ginugol na panaho'y nasaan?
'Di ba't sayang naman?
Giliw
Ngunit di mo na mababawi iniwang sakit
Sa mga salitang binitiwan mo
Hindi ba't ikaw na rin ang nagpasya, nagtakda
At siyang unang umiwas
Bakit nga ba ako'y iyong pinaasa?
Bakit nga ba ako'y iyong pinaasa?
Mga pagkukulang kong iyong ginigiit
Sana'y malaman mo na tanging ikaw lamang
Ang aking iniintindi
Nakatanim pa sa'king alaala
Pangako mong mananatili ka
Kaya't paglisan mo'y naiwan ang pusong ito
Na ngayo'y bitin na bitin
'Di mo na mababawi iniwang sakit
Sa mga salitang binitiwan mo
Hindi ba't ikaw na rin ang nagpasya, nagtakda
At siyang unang umiwas
Bakit nga ba ako'y iyong pinaasa?
Nasa aking guniguni malamig mong tinig
Kasabay ng hanging na dumarampi
Na para bang ika'y nariyan sa aking paligid
Tahimik na nagmamasid
Nahulog na'ng mga ulap, buwan at araw, mga bituwin
Ang ginugol na panaho'y nasaan?
'Di ba't sayang naman?
Giliw
Ngunit di mo na mababawi iniwang sakit
Sa mga salitang binitiwan mo
Hindi ba't ikaw na rin ang nagpasya, nagtakda
At siyang unang umiwas
Bakit nga ba ako'y iyong pinaasa?
Bakit nga ba ako'y iyong pinaasa?
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