It's been a long time since...
Anyway, I have been wandering around the health sciences library here in our building in the college of nursing. As usual, I'm caught up in the hype of our next grand case presentation- psychology...which really isn't my cup of tea since it's so complicated and not as established as medical and surgical nursing (which I also don't like much because of the complicated pathologies, but at least it's better when it comes to proof-finding).
Hay. So why the sudden urge to type in furiously when there's so much to do with the psychopathology?
I also don't get it. Just a while ago *checks watch* which was about 4 in the aft, Da left me to fend for myself here in this jampacked lib (I wasn't really thrilled to see the place that way...parang palengke, except that the 'vendors and buyers' were polite and civilized creatures, hahahaha. Pero still, maingay pa rin sila, gets...siyempre...murmurs murmurs...noise yun pag madami, di ba?
Ayun, so there. I was left with that scenario...I started to cram whatever I found into my brain...even after browsing a few good references on psychology regarding schizophrenia, I still had a lot of questions to answer...and I felt the eagerness to research about it while I had the afternoon for myself. I had a few photocopied just for handy reading...read and manually copied a few other references for personal storage...then I wandered off to the older shelves where most of the books were peeling and had pages yellowed in time...
In the silence of the area, I suddenly had the urge to pick up yet another potential reference (for the nth time) and sit on one of the footstools. That was when I realized that I felt suddenly tired. I checked the time. It was past five already. I thought I needed to rest. I realized something again...which came out as a question that I posed to myself:
Am I pushing myself unnecessarily too hard?
I stopped right there, returned the book, and went up here to type something to loosen up a bit. The thought seems funny but it's really bothering me at the moment. Somehow I feel that I'm getting enough rest, but then I think...what if I'm paying for more than what I'm gaining in this business of life? In exchange for knowledge and passion fulfillment, what if I'm giving up a grand component of my health status..?
Well of course it's given that we all have to sacrifice on this aspect when it comes to climbing the mountain of success in any field. But if in the end the irony would be that you'd have to use up everything you gained in salvaging what you've spent...then what gives? Indeed, one of the greatest ironies of life is that, we give so much of our lives...sometimes even too much of it- to achieve our goals in life, and in the end give up all of what we have achieved to go back to living again.
Which is why it bothers me to think that I am now becoming one of these people who are shedding off the aspects of their lives slowly...dying like a candle...which is frankly no different from someone who smokes, or drinks a lot, or even eats too much triglycerides (for example, overusing gravy in KFC, ganun, hehehe).
I don't want to miss living. I am not saying that we should all just drop our responsibilities and trot off to the land of tralala- that's not wise, either. A balance between the two would suffice. A bit of work, a bit of play...that's what makes Jack a healthy person.
Naw, wait, change that. A bit of work, a bit of play...and a whole lotta praying and devoting to God. Now that's optimum health.
Hay. Okay, nakahinga na ko. Thank God for wisdom. For now, I guess I have to restrict myself, know my limits, say that my research is enough to sustain us for the making of our protocol I think (come on, siuyod ko na ang neuroscience references)...and just relax for a while...
Tapos mamaya sabak na naman! Hehehehe.^^
Okay lang, totodo ko na lang ang relaks after this work storm! Yahoo!!!
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