Death and Life in experience

It's ten minutes to seven and I'm still here in school...in the lib actually, trying to be busy and useful at the same time. Supposedly I'm on my way home now, but then change of plans...mama has to attend to some emergency, so I stay and wait for my brother to finish his classes in an hour and a half...

So! What's interesting about today...

Well, we had our special area duty today in the ER and CKD. ER wasn't exactly as filled in the morning as it was in the aft...and CKD only meant standing for so long, checking on machine figures, taking blood pressures every 30 minutes or so...But I'd say it was fun and was a very enriching exposure in the sense that I had the chance to see other patients with specific needs.

Thought for the day: Malas kaya ako?

Last week I had a patient who died on me on my second day with her. I did postmortem care and took her to the oven (hehe aka morgue) on Friday the 13th. When I got to back to the ward another patient died...great timing. Hehehe. My prof later remarked to us that it's a record- two patients dying, two postmortem cares in one shift and in one day...hahaha what a track record...

And then just a few hours ago I handled a patient who suddenly did not wake up anymore...well, I know it's from a med reaction given per IV...but then after the incident he never woke up and that worried me a lot, though I now have yet to know what happened to him because I could not stay for long after he lost consciousness. We were trying to pinch him on the chest area to wake him...he wasn't responding to the pain. GCS=3...I hope he just fell asleep...but no...score says he's in a coma. Grar. *frustrated*

Well, consclusion is there is no such thing as malas. I know I did my best in taking care of these two patients...the mother of the patient who died even held my two hands hours after the incident and thanked me for doing a great job of service which they all felt in the social circle of the patient. The patient a while ago who had to stop his dialysis...well, the relatives seemed alarmed but then they knew it was from the medication, so not my thing...and also, he was hypoglycemic as recorded. CBG=60mg/dl (normal is 80-120mg/dl).

So no, no...no Anni, you're not the cause of trouble, the relatives love you, in fact...hahaha. Too much that they even give you oranges, jollibee, choco crunchies, hugs...ask for your number...(but hey, I didn't accept all of them...except for the choco crunchies which I took only after a playful/real threat that if I didn't, the post-cranio patient would become more stressed out and that would cause increase in intracranial pressure and would cause him to bleed some more postoperatively through his nose (which would then be my fault)...talk about good blackmail, yeahehehe).

Also, a while ago I suffered an allergic reaction I think...I dunno what it was out of the many things I munched on but my nose became scratchy for about an hour after a binge by the hepa line perpendicular to Dapitan street. I don't have any known allergies...but then what's with this...hmmm...I'd put a tab on that and include it in the 'for further observation' rack...hmm was it the homemade chili sauce I sampled..?

And I checked some biblio...I was looking for 'Dysgerminoma,' but then I couldn't find a free journal article on that in relation to pediatric clients...one of whom I handled. It's a minor problem...I already have backups though, so I don't mind.

Wishlist of things to do:

-Figure an impressive pair of Nursing Care Plans for Ma'am Libut.
-See Mrs. Aromin.
-Eat chicken feet at Causeway.
-Spend time with Jrep.
-Get my Pref cards completed, c/o Ma'am Natividad.
-Be present during friday for 'youtube reaction vid shoot.'
-Do the writeup for Jords.
-Buy mamita some flowers.

Spiritual Hunger:

Recently I know I haven't been too attentive with my appetite for the Word. And it's draining me so much...I've been more fatigued, more easily irritable, binging more often...and it's all because I'm not feeding spiritually. And it's got to stop. Today.

The Lord impressed on me this question two days ago: 'How far have you gone from me?'

And I could not answer...and I felt very sad, because I know so well in my heart that I've been such a shame for his name...and I need forgiveness badly. I need to repair my life..repent and get back on the right track where there is true happiness and peace with Jesus...amen to that.

Also, in my moments of weakness, I dreamed of something that he wanted me to do...I'm not so sure at the time what it means to me, but I just know...I need to overcome the darkness through Him who gives me strength. I am a child of God...and I hold the surest love that no one can take away from me.

Oh Lord You've searched me
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me
*Ahahaha. Kasama ko si Stephie ngayon dito sa nitro. Nako, kawawa ako, binubully kasi ako. Huhuhu. T.T*
Sbi niya ala dw katotohanan, yah right! :P