Anni's session of understanding 101

I guess it's just disappointing that when you expect to be understood most by the people closest to you...well, you are hit by reality that...they really don't. They just think they do, on the surface, yes but...in the depths, they really don't get it.

And another sad thing to consider is that you don't have the right to demand sincere understanding from the heart, which is only out of genuine love.

In simple terms, deciding to love someone entrails the desire to really analyze and understand how a person of interest feels and thinks about certain issues and events...how high, how low, how distorted...how damaged.

To state it negatively, if a person does not find time or give a lot of attention to understanding how you feel...then maybe that person does not really love you enough...or love you at all...isn't that it?

Well it does involve a lot of effort, energy...attention. And a lot of self-giving?

Submission to internalizing a belief that you are alien to- or even against. Maybe that's what makes it so hard to do...is it?

Nevermind that...

...


I'd say I'm a complicated person. But speaking for myself, it's not so hard to get through..or even destroy parts of that complication of me. Either you listen willfully, or get into my shoes and try to feel the way I feel in a certain situation.

I really can't demand anything here...I just want to be understood...hopefully by those whom I see dearest to me. That's all.

Well, that's something to think about. And thankfully I dumped it here before I went off again with a brokenness that no one can probably get to in time...hahaha.

"One man's antidote is another man's poison."

Good night...