Sometimes I believe I understand the ultimate meaning and purpose of life in my relationship with God. But on the other hand, when darkness tolls in...I tend to feel blank...like an imbecile in things. (Which shouldn't be the case if I just take my daily dose of the Word, grr...)
As I am feeling that way now I cannot help but ask within myself, 'What exactly have I gotten myself into?' (By this I refer to my immature relationship with God.)
I guess I will forever wonder about that. I will always have my doubts, my imperfections, my blunders, my weird moments with him. I will still be hurt, still cry, still get frustrated with him...yet still love and be loved so much more in return.
With all the hardships I have on a regular basis I feel like giving up and just leading a wasted life like most of us. But on the other hand I don't ever want to lose sight of him- which can happen so easily with the glimmer of worldly glory or the intimidating troubles in the wind.
Ay. I'm being such a reflective being here. I want to rest. And meditate on the word as I should. I need nourishment. I need to know what God wants. I'm sure what I'm doing is not so fine for him...
The Death Rattle and The Death March XP
OK, fine, so I'm using hyperbole...but I feel like being like the people around me, supposedly dreading the coming (or rather present) monthly exams which started haunting us today for real.
But whatever I do I'm not troubled at all. Marahil hindi kasi nag-aral, hahaha. Nah, maybe I'm just not into the hardship, yokong magpakatoxic??? Hmm...kanina natapos na ang med-surg exams namin, major subject so that's a pretty big hurdle for me...yeah. Later mga 1 hour 10 mins pa I'm going to take my socio exam, and probably go home early (sana) with pedia and lit up next for tomorrow's challenge...
I'm very happy about my current state, got rested, better health (?), and much better well-being. Yeah, sure I got my sniffles (sabi ng mga berkie friends ko dito sa college it's a case of trangkaso?), but that's only due to my groupmate KR (hahahaha nanghawa) having it and passing the virus to me while I was very susceptible to it. Ewan. Hahahaha.
Pero recently talaga I made the resolution of prioritizing my basic health needs for the good of my body functioning (example, sleep enough over toxic full-blast studying at night). Kasi it's health that's our true form of wealth in this lifetime, not the income that we get or the success that comes with high grades at the cost of it. Di ba? Kasi hindi naman na tayo magiging bata uli, and 18 is the starting age for deterioration, mind you...and I'm certainly over the limit...hahahaha.
But of course as always I can't wait for the week to be over so I can go and sleep all I want, play all I want and read the LOTR books for Lit, go malling with Rep perhaps, and maybe catch a movie or go play tennis again while at my relaxed state. Come on, I won't be a college stud forever, especially not after my nursing course...
OK, I already spent 9 minutes here when I'm supposed to be studying and memorizing the social encyclicals (Rerum Novarum...ring any bells?) and their dates, the popes who created them...for my exam later at 2:30. Hahaha. Apparently I'm not so into it as I am here in the religious section of the lib, using the net, and...hm, blogging. Wahaha. Aw well.
Before I go (yaaaa it's 10 mins na) and read notes na, just want to say Josh Groban's song 'When You Say You Love Me' is just...wah, great. :) Check it out if you will!
Whoever reads this, loveyah, and God bless you. Pray and stay in line with His principles and you'll never go wrong. :)
But whatever I do I'm not troubled at all. Marahil hindi kasi nag-aral, hahaha. Nah, maybe I'm just not into the hardship, yokong magpakatoxic??? Hmm...kanina natapos na ang med-surg exams namin, major subject so that's a pretty big hurdle for me...yeah. Later mga 1 hour 10 mins pa I'm going to take my socio exam, and probably go home early (sana) with pedia and lit up next for tomorrow's challenge...
I'm very happy about my current state, got rested, better health (?), and much better well-being. Yeah, sure I got my sniffles (sabi ng mga berkie friends ko dito sa college it's a case of trangkaso?), but that's only due to my groupmate KR (hahahaha nanghawa) having it and passing the virus to me while I was very susceptible to it. Ewan. Hahahaha.
Pero recently talaga I made the resolution of prioritizing my basic health needs for the good of my body functioning (example, sleep enough over toxic full-blast studying at night). Kasi it's health that's our true form of wealth in this lifetime, not the income that we get or the success that comes with high grades at the cost of it. Di ba? Kasi hindi naman na tayo magiging bata uli, and 18 is the starting age for deterioration, mind you...and I'm certainly over the limit...hahahaha.
But of course as always I can't wait for the week to be over so I can go and sleep all I want, play all I want and read the LOTR books for Lit, go malling with Rep perhaps, and maybe catch a movie or go play tennis again while at my relaxed state. Come on, I won't be a college stud forever, especially not after my nursing course...
OK, I already spent 9 minutes here when I'm supposed to be studying and memorizing the social encyclicals (Rerum Novarum...ring any bells?) and their dates, the popes who created them...for my exam later at 2:30. Hahaha. Apparently I'm not so into it as I am here in the religious section of the lib, using the net, and...hm, blogging. Wahaha. Aw well.
Before I go (yaaaa it's 10 mins na) and read notes na, just want to say Josh Groban's song 'When You Say You Love Me' is just...wah, great. :) Check it out if you will!
Whoever reads this, loveyah, and God bless you. Pray and stay in line with His principles and you'll never go wrong. :)
A daughter's decision, a bored hype, and a new landing
I slept at 12 last night and woke up at 2pm next day. 14 hours of sleep should have given me the headache and my typical 'overslept' tantrums, but today it didn't. Maybe because I was tired, and I needed to get back in shape with that kind of slumber. Good thing that it's not only my physical that got worked up. My spiritual appetite got active too, as I had time for God upon waking up on a lazy sunday like this.
But I felt a stirring dissatisfaction within me as I got up. God wants me to do something fast. It's my duty to my father, whom I used to call my hopeless case, but this time, with faith and trust in Him who can do anything, I wonder how to accomplish this assignment without failing. I hope to finish it before he's finished. Won't be discussing this morbidity, as most people find this topic...unsavory for casual tackling. (Kung si Mark nga nadisturb in the way I talked of it...)
Ewan. Hahaha. Anyway chumibog pala ako ng sisig, sardines, pusit, and egg for my dinner-bfast-lunch (kasi kagabi di ako kumain, and I slep round-the-clock pa). Bad bad habit for someone who calls herself a health advocate, hmm.
A bored girl's trip:
Kahapon pala iniwan na ko ng mga classmates ko to go get themselves set for my groupie Tadz's post-19th birthday party. So ayun, alone ako. At dahil di naman ako pwedeng umuwi mag-isa, ayun, I wandered off again for the nth time. I took my time off and went to san laazaro sm to play dancemania all by myself. Siguro nga ganyan ako sumpongin pag naiiwang walang magawa, hehehe.
I met three frequenters of that machine- si Jasper and his cuz Andrew from Perpetual, both second-year student nursies, and John, who's got his second year IT course at his college in QAve. It was rather heartwarming and comforting to have them around me while we were waiting for our respective turns to dance.
Besides the 4 tokens I put in for tekken4 just before the dance, I finished off 5 tokens with a huge crowd buildup behind me (siguro Saturday lang kasi, o siguro iniisip nila, sino tong naka-costume na ito (coz I was in my duty uniform) na nagkakalat dito? hehehe)- and went off sweating (and losing my face? hahahaha). It was relaxing for me. Then just in time I could already go home na pala with my mama.
The freelance writer:
Ayun. Ay, btw, I got my first real job as an online writer (or something like that)...smalltime, siyempre, but I want some writing experience for a divertional activity, so there. Fact is, my daily allowance is about thrice bigger than what they offer, but then I'm in for the activity, so bahala na, I'm doing it. :) Of course di dapat malaman ni inay kasi alam ko ayaw niya itong mga balak ko na ito, as it could distract me daw sa focus ko sa pag-aaral. We'll see.
For now I have to pull myself away from this blog vortex...I need to make my 2-page reaction paper na, pronto! For tomorrow. Si Tiff nga wawa eh, saw her stat just kanina, it's got all papers assignment written on it. Kumusta naman...hahahaha. Sige na, got to go...
But I felt a stirring dissatisfaction within me as I got up. God wants me to do something fast. It's my duty to my father, whom I used to call my hopeless case, but this time, with faith and trust in Him who can do anything, I wonder how to accomplish this assignment without failing. I hope to finish it before he's finished. Won't be discussing this morbidity, as most people find this topic...unsavory for casual tackling. (Kung si Mark nga nadisturb in the way I talked of it...)
Ewan. Hahaha. Anyway chumibog pala ako ng sisig, sardines, pusit, and egg for my dinner-bfast-lunch (kasi kagabi di ako kumain, and I slep round-the-clock pa). Bad bad habit for someone who calls herself a health advocate, hmm.
A bored girl's trip:
Kahapon pala iniwan na ko ng mga classmates ko to go get themselves set for my groupie Tadz's post-19th birthday party. So ayun, alone ako. At dahil di naman ako pwedeng umuwi mag-isa, ayun, I wandered off again for the nth time. I took my time off and went to san laazaro sm to play dancemania all by myself. Siguro nga ganyan ako sumpongin pag naiiwang walang magawa, hehehe.
I met three frequenters of that machine- si Jasper and his cuz Andrew from Perpetual, both second-year student nursies, and John, who's got his second year IT course at his college in QAve. It was rather heartwarming and comforting to have them around me while we were waiting for our respective turns to dance.
Besides the 4 tokens I put in for tekken4 just before the dance, I finished off 5 tokens with a huge crowd buildup behind me (siguro Saturday lang kasi, o siguro iniisip nila, sino tong naka-costume na ito (coz I was in my duty uniform) na nagkakalat dito? hehehe)- and went off sweating (and losing my face? hahahaha). It was relaxing for me. Then just in time I could already go home na pala with my mama.
The freelance writer:
Ayun. Ay, btw, I got my first real job as an online writer (or something like that)...smalltime, siyempre, but I want some writing experience for a divertional activity, so there. Fact is, my daily allowance is about thrice bigger than what they offer, but then I'm in for the activity, so bahala na, I'm doing it. :) Of course di dapat malaman ni inay kasi alam ko ayaw niya itong mga balak ko na ito, as it could distract me daw sa focus ko sa pag-aaral. We'll see.
For now I have to pull myself away from this blog vortex...I need to make my 2-page reaction paper na, pronto! For tomorrow. Si Tiff nga wawa eh, saw her stat just kanina, it's got all papers assignment written on it. Kumusta naman...hahahaha. Sige na, got to go...
Today is jrep's birthday
Today is jrep's birthday. Pati ng friend kong si Bianca sa nursing.
Happy birthday. :)
Now I am waiting for my libre. And a chance to glimpse some significant others of my significant others (hahaha ang gulo ba, hehehe). But first I have to do some things:
Go to ward, check patients assignment for tomorrow.
Get my new uniform from Aling Ising (or rather, her descendants, coz she's dead, haha morbid).
Take the unpurchased book back to the NCBS (paticularly to an officer named LJ).
Go around the block to explore new fields (aka orgs).
Have something framed...Do my bibliography for the CFAD exhibit. (ay mali...eto ata ang dala ng pagiging toxic, grr)
Do my bibliography for the patient last week.
Do a reflection paper for the CFAD exhibit.
Ayan. So before I conclude this. let me scrib about my recent emos...
Recently, I am happy and gay (as with my usual days, hahaha). My mother and I are still on truce, mga four weeks na ata standing yang order na yan, thank God. I think it takes a lot of patience and trust in God to be able to hold up this long. And I still hope to hold up longer para blessed ang feeling sa pamilya. :)
On my work, medyo crammer pa rin (siguro nga hindi ko na maalis ang habit na nakuha ko from sj), but I am starting to develop time management skills, hahahaha! Yah right. Peach and time- nyahahaha. Aw, I get my things done, ocd pa rin (obsessive complusive disorder), pero I'm getting my timeouts.
Pag work, work work work talaga nonstop. Pero pag sleep, sleep todo until wake up time. Pag r&r, todo relax rin. I would like to promote holistic health upon myself- like the way I would like my patients to do upon themselves...and so with the people around me- my family, my friends...I see the need to impose such an optimal behavior upon myself.
Still have baby fats, not perfect shape naman (asa na lang ako, hahaha), pero in fairness I'm always in my right weight. As in gitna ng acceptable margins, so that must mean I'm very good. :) Although I have to fix my eating sched coz it's not in order (madalas hindi ako nagbbreakfast, kasi 7am ang time ko, so that leaves to be changed).
There's so much room for improvement. I just have to get souped up for such major variations- coz like my MS/Pharma prof just said yesterday, behavior is not an easy thing to change. Parang nasanay ka na kasi, a habit...maling isipin na such a task is on the level of a chicken feet.
Hindi lang sa health ang nagiging prob ko. Most importantly, I have to keep my spiritual health kempt. This centers on my relationship with God, the perfect justice and love na we will never fully understand, but should trust in, no matter what happens to us. After all, it's all about him that we live for. If not, for what? If we live for things other than him, it surely won't last. Kasi wala namang permanent sa mundong ito.
This world surely could not provide and won't satisfy our primal yearning for perfect love and purpose, which only our holy Inventor could provide for us. This is something that I pray my friends and family would come to realize.
God is impressing on me three things: (I have to pray for these pa)
Trust in Him no matter what (as in no matter what).
It's all about Him anyway, so I have to learn to let go of my sense of pride and humble myself (mapride kasi eh kaya napapahamak).
Never fear- especially in declaring the love that God has for me.
Resting Phase
I am on my dormant phase. Hahaha.
Tomorrow I plan to be working on my assignments for the week. I'd like to be smooth sailing before having fun with my friends, hehehe.
Kahapon nagkarron ng minireunion sa Ate Eva's, hindi planado ah, nagkitakits lang mga sj peeps- ako, si Rep, Jo, Ian, Leanne, Abigail, Zelaine.
I have pics to show, hehe. Wag lang now, tamad pa ko magupload. Hahahaha.
Kahapon pala naghagout kam ni Julie, Apple, Sy, Yani nung gabi. I like these girls- nice company.:)
Tomorrow I plan to be working on my assignments for the week. I'd like to be smooth sailing before having fun with my friends, hehehe.
Kahapon nagkarron ng minireunion sa Ate Eva's, hindi planado ah, nagkitakits lang mga sj peeps- ako, si Rep, Jo, Ian, Leanne, Abigail, Zelaine.
I have pics to show, hehe. Wag lang now, tamad pa ko magupload. Hahahaha.
Kahapon pala naghagout kam ni Julie, Apple, Sy, Yani nung gabi. I like these girls- nice company.:)
I love ice coffee
I am such a sucker for ice coffee, particularly from Quickly...with black sago...yumm...but something tells me that like milo, I shouldn't take it on an empty stomach. Kasi nagppprotest ang aking GIT (gastointestinal tract or the digestive tract) whenever I do so. Now even ice coffee's on the list. *sigh*
Anyway I am now hanging out here in the library internet room with my friend KR, who is trying to post a fiction story of hers. I am just waiting for her, on account of 1. I have nothing better to do, 2. I need the airconditioned room like I need air, and 3. She's my friend. Whatever with the peachness.
Next week magbbday na ang isa diyan, at madadagdagan na naman ang bente miyembros natin, wahoo! Patay siya sa kin...
June 25- Jordana
June 27- Tadz and Jrep
I need a good sleep ata- head's heavy talaga, probably due to my brace episode...like I said I'm using full force, and my dentist's only too happy to cater to my...um, demands, hahaha.
This morning we just had our RLE (related learning experience), aka duty in San Alberto Ward (Pediatrics ward for children ages 1 day-18 years). Happy naman, cutie si Ma'am, kaso I caught myself occasionally eyeing her...um, thigh, kasi her skirt's slitted slightly over her knee. And kahit may suot pa siyang flesh stockings, it's an audience caller, kmusta naman, hahaha...sorry sa fossil (aka living-under-a-rock) factor ko, as my friends call it, but that's me...that's her. Let her figure...mwahahaha
During my first week I got to meet new people randomly, sa corridor and sa lib just before I sat here. Si Joey, senior ko, section 5, gave me good advice on how to cope with my dislike sa prof ko sa socio. Two juniors like myself, Pam and Malic (teka, I got to ask KR, I forgot na)...both said hi. I forgot the names of the sophies whom I made friends with, hahahaha...anyway...
Oh, til here na lng, I gtg. KR's done. I think we need to eat. Or maybe I have to meet up with a friend I haven't seen for seven years, to be exact. ^^
Anyway I am now hanging out here in the library internet room with my friend KR, who is trying to post a fiction story of hers. I am just waiting for her, on account of 1. I have nothing better to do, 2. I need the airconditioned room like I need air, and 3. She's my friend. Whatever with the peachness.
Next week magbbday na ang isa diyan, at madadagdagan na naman ang bente miyembros natin, wahoo! Patay siya sa kin...
June 25- Jordana
June 27- Tadz and Jrep
I need a good sleep ata- head's heavy talaga, probably due to my brace episode...like I said I'm using full force, and my dentist's only too happy to cater to my...um, demands, hahaha.
This morning we just had our RLE (related learning experience), aka duty in San Alberto Ward (Pediatrics ward for children ages 1 day-18 years). Happy naman, cutie si Ma'am, kaso I caught myself occasionally eyeing her...um, thigh, kasi her skirt's slitted slightly over her knee. And kahit may suot pa siyang flesh stockings, it's an audience caller, kmusta naman, hahaha...sorry sa fossil (aka living-under-a-rock) factor ko, as my friends call it, but that's me...that's her. Let her figure...mwahahaha
During my first week I got to meet new people randomly, sa corridor and sa lib just before I sat here. Si Joey, senior ko, section 5, gave me good advice on how to cope with my dislike sa prof ko sa socio. Two juniors like myself, Pam and Malic (teka, I got to ask KR, I forgot na)...both said hi. I forgot the names of the sophies whom I made friends with, hahahaha...anyway...
Oh, til here na lng, I gtg. KR's done. I think we need to eat. Or maybe I have to meet up with a friend I haven't seen for seven years, to be exact. ^^
First dog haircut becomes a trauma. Red rubbers do rock
Lebron just got his first haircut. He's not happy about it. He's been squirming.
After the ordeal, looking very sad.
Cutting edge...
Eto ang awa look when he was being shaved...
Cut cut cut. Snip. Snip. Snip.
He's just soooo adorable, even when he whimpers...
Picture picture...
After the ordeal, looking very sad.
Cutting edge...
Eto ang awa look when he was being shaved...
Cut cut cut. Snip. Snip. Snip.
He's just soooo adorable, even when he whimpers...
Picture picture...I love my new red rubbers...just had my wires re-tightened this noon. And because I'm so determined to make it quick, I asked my dentist to give maximum force every visit. Cruel, coz I can't sleep during the first night after, but the power of wanting it...that's all I probably need. :)
I have a ton of work to do. I have to read through medical surgical book, pharma, and I have to study pediatrics. Currently my mission is to finish the laundry...still pending in zonrox-treated water.
Can't bite through any solid food. Aunt offered me a plate of pancit canton. It was perfectly spicy, but my teeth could not handle it pala. So I didn't finish it. Grr. Head aching, side effect of the wire...but I'm not taking any meds- I'm ok with the natural analgesic of cold- cold water, cold anything...
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