I think I am ready to say goodbye to my "pacing the room" phase...and finally walk out the door and go my merry way like the norm...like eight months before.
Anyway, I see not the reason why some guys think that girls are unfeeling creatures not meant for wasting their time on...particularly a teacher of mine in college...hmm. Well, we are all entitled to our own opinions, right, so that's ok...but I think we are like layered cakes, different and hard to discern. And I am NOT unfeeling...HE is, that guy...my personal 'the one'...whatever.
I guess I finally got tired of my cycle of love then leave, love then leave...that I began to realize...what's the use of keeping a fire lit up when there's nothing to cook? Hahahaha...my point is, if I can't even have him, what's the point of loving him...in secret, even?
Yep, unconditional love, as they say...it might even be just infatuation, but what the heck...whatever it is I'm dropping it for real, this time. No use taking time when I know within myself that I'm not telling him, not in a million years...I can't afford to pay the intangible price...
I met him just three hours ago, and he looked great...I hope he knows that...
Then he told me about the girl he's been keeping up with...lovely sweet girl, I can bet...of course I asked a lot of questions...he answered most of them...and he said goodbye...I didn't even get handshake...much less a friendly hug, which I had expected. Oh well...it's not my day...hahaha.
OK, I'm signing off...(in both ways)
Lately, really....
Lately I've been thinking a lot about the one, my personal 'the one'...(of course, I'm not telling kung sino, mahirap na...) Lately, he's been on my mind. No day seems to pass na hindi siya sumayad sa utak ko...I still get butterflies in my stomach everytime I see him.
Sure, I know what you guys think...it's a dangerous game, keeping a secret this good...and this heavy...there were nights I never got to sleep til four am just thinking if he thinks of me too at the moment...yah, pathetic, but love it is, as they say...or is it?
I have debated on this for eight months already, and whether this is worth keeping as it might be an infatuation (or maybe not), I am still in between the gaps of yes, no, si, iie, hai, sh, pu sh...you know what I mean.
I'm confident that if I keep my heart well out of sight, I'll be safe from any kind of scandal...though not forever. But I am good at keeping my heart out of sight, especially from him (I think), so what the heck, gotta love this nearly perfect guy...sigh sigh si peach...
But lately, I think he's hooked on this babe...she's pretty, I've heard. And yes, I'm jealous...hahahaha!
Again, my mechanism...bring in more shirts to the dressing room and fit them all at the same time! I have lots of crushies, and I treat them like shirts you can wash and wear...or even throw. And believe me, I've tried to take this special 'shirt' off more than once, but the more I get to see other shirts the more I am convinced that I'm keeping this one for longer!
OK, will have to go for PE...ciao...
Sure, I know what you guys think...it's a dangerous game, keeping a secret this good...and this heavy...there were nights I never got to sleep til four am just thinking if he thinks of me too at the moment...yah, pathetic, but love it is, as they say...or is it?
I have debated on this for eight months already, and whether this is worth keeping as it might be an infatuation (or maybe not), I am still in between the gaps of yes, no, si, iie, hai, sh, pu sh...you know what I mean.
I'm confident that if I keep my heart well out of sight, I'll be safe from any kind of scandal...though not forever. But I am good at keeping my heart out of sight, especially from him (I think), so what the heck, gotta love this nearly perfect guy...sigh sigh si peach...
But lately, I think he's hooked on this babe...she's pretty, I've heard. And yes, I'm jealous...hahahaha!
Again, my mechanism...bring in more shirts to the dressing room and fit them all at the same time! I have lots of crushies, and I treat them like shirts you can wash and wear...or even throw. And believe me, I've tried to take this special 'shirt' off more than once, but the more I get to see other shirts the more I am convinced that I'm keeping this one for longer!
OK, will have to go for PE...ciao...
just a peachless day...or was it?
I am still at the point of wondering within myself why yesterday didn't seem so right. I went off at four feeling sorry for myself and my class for not getting the incentives...and yes, for not winning any special awards.
Just thinking now: If I ever get this posted, it'll be my first blog ever...I used to be against blogging, because of the idea that manual still works best, but well, look who's finally ready to go scribbling in the net!
Anyway, regarding yesterday, I walked off the scene with a heavy heart that I even poured out to mom all that had transpired that day. On the right senses I take note not to, because she's particularly harsh when dealing with pathetic problems like her only daughter in the family.
Pathetic. Yep, I admit I was feeling like that yesterday. I watched the video of what had happened onstage, and I really felt that it was great, except for those particular people who deliberately didn't take this whole thing seriously (I won't have to mention names...it's over, who point at characters now, right?).
Now I can really say that a bad apple really does a lot of harm to a whole basket of them. No wonder Jaypee, our most respected instructor, was very serious about pulling off people who don't seem to have their hearts set in the program...now I really, really know why.
But before I fell asleep, my reflections tell me I've had a pretty great day, especially when Paulo, arrived with Berenice and Shuri...three of my most trusted friends. They saw me perform. It was an answered prayer, for I had been praying for this, even at backstage...to the last minute, I had been walking around fourth floor nursing corridor, watching the stairways for any sign of them- barefoot and with corn-colored hands...thank God for his humored blessings...
Too bad they had to leave as fast, for when we were about to go back to sj together in our car, ma came telling us that we have to go to Caloocan to have the car checked-it's overheating! (Later we realize that the car had no water anymore. Papa scolds me. Ma suspects it as a sabotage plan of someone in the Mendiola neighborhood. Sigh...)
I might have to wait for Saturday before we can catch up on recent issues, hehehe. I can't wait! Also, there's the arrival of Tiffany, back from her retreat...I hope she had fun..!
In the meantime I'll surf before my volleyball PE, three pa eh...cge cge! Go Peach!
Just thinking now: If I ever get this posted, it'll be my first blog ever...I used to be against blogging, because of the idea that manual still works best, but well, look who's finally ready to go scribbling in the net!
Anyway, regarding yesterday, I walked off the scene with a heavy heart that I even poured out to mom all that had transpired that day. On the right senses I take note not to, because she's particularly harsh when dealing with pathetic problems like her only daughter in the family.
Pathetic. Yep, I admit I was feeling like that yesterday. I watched the video of what had happened onstage, and I really felt that it was great, except for those particular people who deliberately didn't take this whole thing seriously (I won't have to mention names...it's over, who point at characters now, right?).
Now I can really say that a bad apple really does a lot of harm to a whole basket of them. No wonder Jaypee, our most respected instructor, was very serious about pulling off people who don't seem to have their hearts set in the program...now I really, really know why.
But before I fell asleep, my reflections tell me I've had a pretty great day, especially when Paulo, arrived with Berenice and Shuri...three of my most trusted friends. They saw me perform. It was an answered prayer, for I had been praying for this, even at backstage...to the last minute, I had been walking around fourth floor nursing corridor, watching the stairways for any sign of them- barefoot and with corn-colored hands...thank God for his humored blessings...
Too bad they had to leave as fast, for when we were about to go back to sj together in our car, ma came telling us that we have to go to Caloocan to have the car checked-it's overheating! (Later we realize that the car had no water anymore. Papa scolds me. Ma suspects it as a sabotage plan of someone in the Mendiola neighborhood. Sigh...)
I might have to wait for Saturday before we can catch up on recent issues, hehehe. I can't wait! Also, there's the arrival of Tiffany, back from her retreat...I hope she had fun..!
In the meantime I'll surf before my volleyball PE, three pa eh...cge cge! Go Peach!
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