It's time for me to count my blessings...:) Using familiar songs I would like to express my recent victories and non-victories which help me grow. Sana alam niyo yung mga kanta and maka-relate kayo! Hehehehe.
Here's my top 5 theme songs:
Para kay Jrep, na super namimiss ko na-
We never said our love was evergreen,
Or as unchanging as the sea...
But if you can still remember,
Stop and think of me
Para kay mama, na na-iinsecure ata sa stand ko-
I'll do anything, do anything that you tell me
I'll be there, I'll be there if you need me
Reachin' out to you
Do you feel it too
Lovin' you is all I wanna do
I'm completely sure
I've never felt this way before
When I smile you know that there is something more
Para sa mga sj circle of friends ko...whom I long to spend more time with, kaso dahil sa work namin, ayun, all I can do is sing, ang drama nito, hahaha...but I do miss them all-
So far away
Doesn’t anybody stay in one place anymore
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
Doesn’t help to know that you’re just time away
Long ago I reached for you and there you stood
Holding you again could only do me good
How I wish I could, but you’re so far away
Para kay 'struggles'...weird, but I think-
It only hurts
The more i pretend
That we could ever
Be more than friends
Please don't ask me
Why I'm so in love with you
At para sa tatay ko...maniwala man kayo o hindi, finally-
I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
Its time to try
Anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true
Para sa love nesters, eto siguro...
You just call out my name,
And you know whereever I am
Ill come running, oh yeah baby
To see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
All you have to do is call
And Ill be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Youve got a friend.
Siguro for now hindi muna ako mag-eelaborate.
Basta ayun...ganoon lang naman ang buhay, parang kanta. May start, may end...at nag-iiba-iba parang mood swings.
Ang importante? Let's keep singing the right lyrics in perfect tune and timing as determined by the director himself- God. :)
A million thoughts and two songs
I'm dead tired. Ewan. The thesis, ward duty, my parents, frustrations...all got me burned up for a while. I now realize what it means to be constantly toiling as a curse of life in this world.
"Do not love the world..."
There are many gifts of life...I know it from experience. God has given me so much, which I know I do not deserve. I'm just tired. I sense the need to refocus on the most important need, which is spiritual growth. The consequence of shifting my focus from that to worldly needs is this kind of grief that I feel in the strains of worldly pressure.
I need to know more about the God that I worship. I need to read the Bible, pray more, worship more...and life a more fulfilling life as a result. Oo nga naman. Everything is temporary naman talaga, except for God, who transcends time and all worldly concepts.
Ayun lang naman. At oo nga, huwag maghangad nang higit pa sa nararapat. God always answers our prayers with Yes, No, and Wait. So pag need talaga natin, I trust that he'll give it. If not, he won't. If it's not the right time, then we have to wait in good faith.
And yes indeed, I need to realize that there are things that he withholds from me because I don't need it now. He is my Provider. Let him decide what suits my needs for the days that come and go.
Hayy...^^
And I close this with a song...
"Do not love the world..."
There are many gifts of life...I know it from experience. God has given me so much, which I know I do not deserve. I'm just tired. I sense the need to refocus on the most important need, which is spiritual growth. The consequence of shifting my focus from that to worldly needs is this kind of grief that I feel in the strains of worldly pressure.
I need to know more about the God that I worship. I need to read the Bible, pray more, worship more...and life a more fulfilling life as a result. Oo nga naman. Everything is temporary naman talaga, except for God, who transcends time and all worldly concepts.
Ayun lang naman. At oo nga, huwag maghangad nang higit pa sa nararapat. God always answers our prayers with Yes, No, and Wait. So pag need talaga natin, I trust that he'll give it. If not, he won't. If it's not the right time, then we have to wait in good faith.
And yes indeed, I need to realize that there are things that he withholds from me because I don't need it now. He is my Provider. Let him decide what suits my needs for the days that come and go.
Hayy...^^
And I close this with a song...
Oh Lord You've searched me
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me
Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me
At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now
You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me
At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now?
You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done
And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me
I know You love me
Oh.. I know You love me
At the cross I bow my knee
Where your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now?
You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done
Enjoying my banana^^
Swear mainit tlg. Hahahaha.
Eh camwhore mode ako. Hmm...bad bad combo.
Tapos ayun, eh di dahil mahilig nga tlg ako sa bananacue...I take a bite kahit mainit. It's been a long time since I've eaten this treat...kaya imagine the heaven. Rawr...yummy...^^
And like a kid advertising hotdogs, Anni gives a good vanity pose. Hahahaha. Takaw! :P
The end! :) For now...
Hehehehe. Aw yeah.
You Should Play the Guitar |
 You're very independent - both in spirit and in the way you learn. You can teach yourself almost anything, even if it makes your fingers bleed. You're not really the type to sit patiently through a music lesson - or do things by the book. It's more your style to master the fundamentals and see where they take you. Highly creative and a bit eclectic, you need a wide range of music to play. You could emerge as a sensitive songwriter... or a manic rock star. Your dominant personality characteristic: being rebellious Your secondary personality characteristic: tenacity |
Right...
What Your Workspace Says About You |
 You are generally fairly organized, but you have occasional slip ups. You find keeping organized challenging. You are hardworking and driven. You have an excellent work ethic. You feel like you neglect your family and friends when you're working. You may work a bit too much. You are still trying to figure out your ideal career. You could quit your current job on any given day. At work, you are an introvert. You don't like people coming around your work space. |
What can I say...:)
Your Seduction Style: The Natural |
 You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen. Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people. You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find! People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast. |
Dreaming with a broken heart
When you're dreaming with a broken heart,
The waking up is the hardest part...
Hindi naman lahat bad tlg. The first part was very good. The second part got me feeling devastated.
So! To start...
I dreamed of being in a small white room with my classmates and friends sa nursing. Mga 4-10 berks...and at the center of the brightly-lit room was a bed, colored red. We were in a festive mood. At the center of the room sat Ma'am Cristobal, our beloved teacher na RN-MD...I looked at her belly (she's pregnant at this time) and saw that it was smaller. In her beautiful black-belted red dress, she turned to me and smiled in her cute way and said, "Anniline, nanganak na ko."
I was happy for her. "Congratulations," I said. But at the back of my mind, I was wondering why I was there. As more people started coming in, I moved out with someone very familiar who was not supposed to be there- si Maski (he's a very good friend of mine whom I love so much). I was conscious of his presence, but I did not mind him so much.
"Lika na," I told him, somehow happy with the unexpected company. And we wandered around the building (there were shops, parang mall siya) before I sensed that it was time...and I disappeared down a staircase malapit sa fire exit, but not before I bid him goodbye and said, "Text mo ko.":)
And the scene changed.
I woke up at the exact same position I had slept (just on the right side of my mother's bed). I recalled that I had to text him, so I fumbled for my cell phone. I reached for it and saw that there were two messages. It was astonishing to note that the message window looked like that of Yahoo Messenger. I could not recall much about the message he sent me, except for that part that it looked like he copy-pasted it from someone else's chat box.
It occured to me with analysis that he was sending 'I love you' to me with a picture of his barkada (which was just really weird)...but apparently he copy-pasted that message after he had sent it to some other girl na hindi ko naman kilala (siyempre nadamay doon yung name ng kausap niya). I highlighted the message (aba cellphone yun ha, wahahaha) and saw that the girl had even sent her number to him. And something about their messages told me that they were even talking about me. (aaaaaaa)
I shut my phone, not wanting to believe it. I felt so cheated and hurt. I muttered in denial, "No, no..." But it was there, the messages said everything. There was someone else he wasn't telling me about. I began to feel the coming of tears as I covered myself with a blanket and assumed a right fetal position.
When you're dreaming with a broken heart,
The waking up is the hardest part...
Yeah...finally, I woke up for real. It did not dawn on me at once that everthing that had occured was all a dream, so I stayed there on the bed, feeling a fresh surge of hurt and the urge to cry. A million thoughts were racing in my wasted head at that time as I stayed silent. So ganoon pala, may iba tlg siya. Pero teka, hindi naman kami ah, bakit ganito? Wala naman akong karapatang masaktan. He's your friend who just happens to like someone who's not you. Nothing else. Better let it stay that way...bahala nga sila...
Lord, bakit ganoon? I had to ask. I was filled with so much grief.
You roll out of bed and down on your knees,
and for a moment you can hardly breathe...
Wondering...
At buti na lang I had reoriented myself to reality before I cried out loud. I think I did. But if so, then thank God it wasn't enough to wake my two brothers (wala kasi si mama kagabi so tumabi muna ako dun). I reviewed the events in my head and realized that, wait a minute- that can't be real...and so I tried to recall what happened before I rolled off to dreamland.
That's when I fully realized that it was all unreal. Ma'am's expected date comes about a month later, Maski's not my boyfriend (I don't have a cheating boyfriend!), and yes, Maski did text me, but nothing like that. I checked my cellphone to confirm four text messages, two of which he had sent. Yes, it was all a dream.
Well, everything was a dream. But the pain was real.
And that gave me something to think about...
The waking up is the hardest part...
Hindi naman lahat bad tlg. The first part was very good. The second part got me feeling devastated.
So! To start...
I dreamed of being in a small white room with my classmates and friends sa nursing. Mga 4-10 berks...and at the center of the brightly-lit room was a bed, colored red. We were in a festive mood. At the center of the room sat Ma'am Cristobal, our beloved teacher na RN-MD...I looked at her belly (she's pregnant at this time) and saw that it was smaller. In her beautiful black-belted red dress, she turned to me and smiled in her cute way and said, "Anniline, nanganak na ko."
I was happy for her. "Congratulations," I said. But at the back of my mind, I was wondering why I was there. As more people started coming in, I moved out with someone very familiar who was not supposed to be there- si Maski (he's a very good friend of mine whom I love so much). I was conscious of his presence, but I did not mind him so much.
"Lika na," I told him, somehow happy with the unexpected company. And we wandered around the building (there were shops, parang mall siya) before I sensed that it was time...and I disappeared down a staircase malapit sa fire exit, but not before I bid him goodbye and said, "Text mo ko.":)
And the scene changed.
I woke up at the exact same position I had slept (just on the right side of my mother's bed). I recalled that I had to text him, so I fumbled for my cell phone. I reached for it and saw that there were two messages. It was astonishing to note that the message window looked like that of Yahoo Messenger. I could not recall much about the message he sent me, except for that part that it looked like he copy-pasted it from someone else's chat box.
It occured to me with analysis that he was sending 'I love you' to me with a picture of his barkada (which was just really weird)...but apparently he copy-pasted that message after he had sent it to some other girl na hindi ko naman kilala (siyempre nadamay doon yung name ng kausap niya). I highlighted the message (aba cellphone yun ha, wahahaha) and saw that the girl had even sent her number to him. And something about their messages told me that they were even talking about me. (aaaaaaa)
I shut my phone, not wanting to believe it. I felt so cheated and hurt. I muttered in denial, "No, no..." But it was there, the messages said everything. There was someone else he wasn't telling me about. I began to feel the coming of tears as I covered myself with a blanket and assumed a right fetal position.
When you're dreaming with a broken heart,
The waking up is the hardest part...
Yeah...finally, I woke up for real. It did not dawn on me at once that everthing that had occured was all a dream, so I stayed there on the bed, feeling a fresh surge of hurt and the urge to cry. A million thoughts were racing in my wasted head at that time as I stayed silent. So ganoon pala, may iba tlg siya. Pero teka, hindi naman kami ah, bakit ganito? Wala naman akong karapatang masaktan. He's your friend who just happens to like someone who's not you. Nothing else. Better let it stay that way...bahala nga sila...
Lord, bakit ganoon? I had to ask. I was filled with so much grief.
You roll out of bed and down on your knees,
and for a moment you can hardly breathe...
Wondering...
At buti na lang I had reoriented myself to reality before I cried out loud. I think I did. But if so, then thank God it wasn't enough to wake my two brothers (wala kasi si mama kagabi so tumabi muna ako dun). I reviewed the events in my head and realized that, wait a minute- that can't be real...and so I tried to recall what happened before I rolled off to dreamland.
That's when I fully realized that it was all unreal. Ma'am's expected date comes about a month later, Maski's not my boyfriend (I don't have a cheating boyfriend!), and yes, Maski did text me, but nothing like that. I checked my cellphone to confirm four text messages, two of which he had sent. Yes, it was all a dream.
Well, everything was a dream. But the pain was real.
And that gave me something to think about...
You no longer see clearly when you're blinded by the tears
And how true. I am writing this at 5:35 in the am to start.
Which is why it is important to be graceful under the pressures of life despite the hardships that come...and keep vigilant...set our eyes to God who matters most.
I don't even know why I suddenly wanted to write this fundamental truth- our need to depend on God as one who knows best for us.
Anyway that's all. Time to go on duty. Dump the unnecessary baggage so patient will be given professional care.
Which is why it is important to be graceful under the pressures of life despite the hardships that come...and keep vigilant...set our eyes to God who matters most.
I don't even know why I suddenly wanted to write this fundamental truth- our need to depend on God as one who knows best for us.
Anyway that's all. Time to go on duty. Dump the unnecessary baggage so patient will be given professional care.
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