Following God's Will

I used to have the notion that once you go do things in accordance to God's will, the peace of Christ will reign in you.

But currently, I've been having the same recurring problem as reflected in my recent journal entries... like I don't really have that peace permanently. Like it's not really okay. Like I'm sitting on my problems instead of getting rid of them.

Sometimes I think that maybe I didn't do it right.

When God told me to leave someone for good some months ago, I was 101% sure that it was the only guarantee I had to make peace with God, whom I strive to honor among anything else.

But I held off, didn't want to obey him despite knowing that it's the right thing to do... and so it took dragging months of more intense suffering for me to realize and learn the importance of trusting God in my plans... and eventually, letting go.

My defiance had me hanging in the balance of sanity and madness. I fell down low like never before. It didn't take a lot of thinking for me to figure that had I been keen on obeying quickly, I would not have suffered this much. I took the big blow of loss, anticipating and knowing that I have to man up to the consequences of my own doing. The Lord has been kind enough to forgive me and help me up with His strength...and in His guiding love I am learning obedience through His tough-love discipline.

But then as I continued to suffer longer than I had anticipated, I began to question what I have done and even my view of things. I thought that if I did what God wanted, there would be absolute peace. Did I get that? Yes, I did. But what's this emotional turmoil I've been experiencing...the highs and lows... like I told my aunt a while ago, it's like beng happy in reality but when you sleep, it's there, haunting you again... The unhushed madness within me had be questioning if I had really done the right thing, if I should have really left that someone for good as a result of my obedience... my wobbly trust in the Lord.

 And so I asked my aunt about it... she was supportive of me. She said that if I didn't obey God... then I might have had proceeded to do things my way to make things better... and note it's my way, not God's way... so I still won't have peace and true happiness, especially knowing inside that God and I are not okay. She warned me that the devil can pull me down and play with my emotions so I'd doubt God's way in things. Which is why it's very crucial to always be on guard, focus on God and read His Word daily... no wonder Im starting to feel NOT okay and entertain doubts in my head... hmmm... 

"And let God be true and every man a liar."

Now that I see it, I think I'd very much rather be in my current situation wherein I'm at peace with God than in my sorry state a few months ago wherein I'm in my fool's comfort zone and knowing that I'm deliberately disobeying God. Mabuti na yung namumublemang kakampi mo ang Diyos kesa dun sa kalaban mo siya...nako mahirap yun. Hahahaha. And I think that gives me peace.

I used to have the notion that once you go do things in accordance to God's will, the peace of Christ will reign in you.


Thankfully, I still have that notion.


I believe that when we set our plans with God as our priority, nothing can ever go wrong and the taste of success is no less sweet as it should be.^^

God bless you all!

(Today I had the blessing of talking with 'John' whom I referred to in one of my recent entries. I am thankful for having had the chance to bless him with my time and sharing... I am thankful for this understanding creature who took his time to listen. May God bless us in our pursuit of genuine revival.)