My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory; The rock of my strength, And my refuge, is in God.
To my adversaries...
My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory; The rock of my strength, And my refuge, is in God.
I feel like the living dead
Just today we finished our school nursing (you know, teach kids some health stuff for two hours, feed them and play the usual stuff) in Navotas. Fun. My group mates looked very tired after, but I was noticeably hyper after...maybe because of the stimulats I drank together this morning (iced tea and coffee, side by side). And to think both are duretics...(aka can induce bladder letdown, wahahaha)
Sometimes I'm so weird that I even question my own sanity...@.@ But then again I'd have to say that weirdness after all adheres merely to the standard of the human thinking, so what the heck...
Today I just want to scrib, parang chika lang...something I'd do with a particular friend while drinking vanilla frost...
1. Veronika Decides to Die is a rather interesting read. I picked it up due to my bro's academic stuff...and having done that I feel that I would never be the same again. Now if only I could keep my bro from reading it...*closes eyes* Seriously it's adult stuff...philosopy...super profound description of the concept of what it is to be crazy. Being crazy may be clinical, but mostly it is just doing something or being someone which most people are not into. Ayun lang...
2. Ang saya ng holiday kahapon.
It's SAM- Singles Awareness Month.
It's SAD- Singles Awareness Day.
When singles need to mingle, hehehe. So we did, as planned. Nag SM, Quantum kami, dance dance...bonding and eat, window shop, karaoke...ayun. At ako, solo flight nag-service ako dahil wednesday, yehey...
Ang roll call:
(Me, after Ana gets her vday surprise from the gorgeous birds... *pina-singing telegram with roses and bears namin ang bruha through a theatrical org*)
Me: You know what? This speechless state of yours is my best gift...the fact that we made you feel this way...that's my best valentine gift.
Syrille: Aw, wala akong valentine...
Me: Anong wala? Ako? Kami?
Sy: Gaga xmpre, pero iba nmn un. *pauses* Pero kung kyo nga ang valentine ko, then everyday is a valentine.
I was extremely thrilled...and even touched...with Ivan's sweet gesture of handing me a white rose during the morning. It's the first time a guy actually gave me a real rose (ung una si Bern during my 19th birthday last year). Now I don't know the answer to this mystery, but there's just something about roses that makes them...well, classic. And certainly memorable.
Masaya akong nakapaglagalag ako sa araw ng mga puso. :) At sobrang tuwa tlg ako kay ivan dahil humabol tlg siya kht na he had to go as quickly rin. It really matters a lot, and he's one of the few who easily hit me on the soft spot, hay.
Sad lng ako di ko nakasama si repi, coz he's dating, wahahaha...joke. I just think it would have been happier with him around rin...kalaban ko to sa sayawan, hahaha...
...un na muna siguro. basta. hahaha. Dami pa paperwork. *dies*
Sometimes I'm so weird that I even question my own sanity...@.@ But then again I'd have to say that weirdness after all adheres merely to the standard of the human thinking, so what the heck...
Today I just want to scrib, parang chika lang...something I'd do with a particular friend while drinking vanilla frost...
1. Veronika Decides to Die is a rather interesting read. I picked it up due to my bro's academic stuff...and having done that I feel that I would never be the same again. Now if only I could keep my bro from reading it...*closes eyes* Seriously it's adult stuff...philosopy...super profound description of the concept of what it is to be crazy. Being crazy may be clinical, but mostly it is just doing something or being someone which most people are not into. Ayun lang...
2. Ang saya ng holiday kahapon.
It's SAM- Singles Awareness Month.
It's SAD- Singles Awareness Day.
When singles need to mingle, hehehe. So we did, as planned. Nag SM, Quantum kami, dance dance...bonding and eat, window shop, karaoke...ayun. At ako, solo flight nag-service ako dahil wednesday, yehey...
Ang roll call:
- Jords
- Julie
- KR
- Sigh
- Yani
- Ivan
- Ana
- Anni (of course)
(Me, after Ana gets her vday surprise from the gorgeous birds... *pina-singing telegram with roses and bears namin ang bruha through a theatrical org*)
Me: You know what? This speechless state of yours is my best gift...the fact that we made you feel this way...that's my best valentine gift.
Syrille: Aw, wala akong valentine...
Me: Anong wala? Ako? Kami?
Sy: Gaga xmpre, pero iba nmn un. *pauses* Pero kung kyo nga ang valentine ko, then everyday is a valentine.
I was extremely thrilled...and even touched...with Ivan's sweet gesture of handing me a white rose during the morning. It's the first time a guy actually gave me a real rose (ung una si Bern during my 19th birthday last year). Now I don't know the answer to this mystery, but there's just something about roses that makes them...well, classic. And certainly memorable.
Masaya akong nakapaglagalag ako sa araw ng mga puso. :) At sobrang tuwa tlg ako kay ivan dahil humabol tlg siya kht na he had to go as quickly rin. It really matters a lot, and he's one of the few who easily hit me on the soft spot, hay.
Sad lng ako di ko nakasama si repi, coz he's dating, wahahaha...joke. I just think it would have been happier with him around rin...kalaban ko to sa sayawan, hahaha...
...un na muna siguro. basta. hahaha. Dami pa paperwork. *dies*
Whatever happened to the dragoness?
Stunned.
Just this late afternoon I got to clamp an umbilical cord, hehehe. Yei me.
I was surprised to see how that size of a baby boy came out of the preggy ma's back door...wahu yeah...yes, bangag ako so understand me hahahaha.
Won't say much in detail, basta yun.
But that's not really what I want to talk about tonight. I'm rather tired but I'm sooo game for an entry here. Yesterday offered me a lot of fun without compromising my both worlds, namely the gorgeous birds and the sj peepz.
Mark, Yani, and I went to SM to do something important for school nursing...bsta academics. It was nothing special but it gave us some time to bond, hehehe, so it was cute. Tapos nagdeliver si Yani ng Go nuts donuts sa mga bruha sa volleyball game (Sigh,KR,Ana) na hindi pa pla ngsisimula when we came back.
Biglang gusto na nilang lahat maglaro. Gasgas tlg ako sa sports, and tanggap ko na yun, so I insisted on watching na lang kahit ma-op ako. Pero malay ko ba bakit ganun na lang hatak nila sa kin, napalaro nila ako sa actual field with the net and the sunset coming in...and take note, lahat kmi then nakaputi, so with all the sand flying...hahaha mukha na kming gusgusing pagtapos.
Pero ako di ko natapos. I simply spent the most of what time I could there. Which resulted in me getting caught sa trapik papunta sa next affair ko...a play with two of my sj friends.
Honestly I was already feeling lazy and tired (dahil sa kakatapos na exams) about going sa walk with Paulo and Jreparep. But since I fought for this rare chance na rin earlier in the am with my mama and also dahil gusto ko rin support si friendship os sa kanyang kinacareer na arts sa stage eh sige, kahit pagod, I pushed myself to go go go!
Besides I wanted to hurt Rep again and beat him up like the addict that I am, so sige...nyahahahaha
The play was something short simple, and sweet. Napakaprofound ng meanings na naderive ko from it, and I have to say na parang tailor-fitted ang role ni Os for him, as in ang jologs na yabang na...aw, he did well with handling that part given to him. *claps*
But I was really touched that upon the end of the play he really took the time, came over to give us hugs...old friends do bring that form of unexplainable nostalgia (that washed me then) na hindi ko maget over kahit san pa ko nakakarating. Maybe it's the sj connection, hahaha. And of course coz these are the people na naging part na rin ng buhay ko before.
We ate at Heaven n Eggs...first time na naman sa kin to, hehehe. Dun sa Timog. Then a little chat...os had to catch up na lng. Grabe ang sarap ng food. Tapos after that uwi na kmi, hehehe.
At pag uwi ko ng midnight I thought the day was over na. Pero hindi pa pla, kasi I suddenly had the urge to text rep, basta, I wanted to talk to him pa sa phone. I asked for five to ten mins.
To my surprise he called me nga. I guess I soo underestimated my value before this friend of mine. Until this talk of ours. Alam ko super loka kmi nito, daming ewan times at puro kulits kasi epal xa sa buhay, hahaha- pero seriously speaking mas nakilala ko tlg siya after this 'talk.' Hindi ko na sasabihin kung ano ung mga napag-usapan, pero this is what happened: I understood this friend of mine more than I thought possible.
At nagpapasalamat ako lalo sa diyos na super super ang gift niya sa kin with this guy here, hehehe.
Anyway right now I'm with one of my- actually she's my best friend na girl sa ust now at super labs ko to, si Arianne, or si Yani. Hmm...I think we should go, and just in time balak ko na i-close itong entry na to...I just ranted, hehehe.
Cge, lovey'all and I miss you guys lots. :) Thanks for stopping by...
Just this late afternoon I got to clamp an umbilical cord, hehehe. Yei me.
I was surprised to see how that size of a baby boy came out of the preggy ma's back door...wahu yeah...yes, bangag ako so understand me hahahaha.
Won't say much in detail, basta yun.
But that's not really what I want to talk about tonight. I'm rather tired but I'm sooo game for an entry here. Yesterday offered me a lot of fun without compromising my both worlds, namely the gorgeous birds and the sj peepz.
Mark, Yani, and I went to SM to do something important for school nursing...bsta academics. It was nothing special but it gave us some time to bond, hehehe, so it was cute. Tapos nagdeliver si Yani ng Go nuts donuts sa mga bruha sa volleyball game (Sigh,KR,Ana) na hindi pa pla ngsisimula when we came back.
Biglang gusto na nilang lahat maglaro. Gasgas tlg ako sa sports, and tanggap ko na yun, so I insisted on watching na lang kahit ma-op ako. Pero malay ko ba bakit ganun na lang hatak nila sa kin, napalaro nila ako sa actual field with the net and the sunset coming in...and take note, lahat kmi then nakaputi, so with all the sand flying...hahaha mukha na kming gusgusing pagtapos.
Pero ako di ko natapos. I simply spent the most of what time I could there. Which resulted in me getting caught sa trapik papunta sa next affair ko...a play with two of my sj friends.
Honestly I was already feeling lazy and tired (dahil sa kakatapos na exams) about going sa walk with Paulo and Jreparep. But since I fought for this rare chance na rin earlier in the am with my mama and also dahil gusto ko rin support si friendship os sa kanyang kinacareer na arts sa stage eh sige, kahit pagod, I pushed myself to go go go!
Besides I wanted to hurt Rep again and beat him up like the addict that I am, so sige...nyahahahaha
The play was something short simple, and sweet. Napakaprofound ng meanings na naderive ko from it, and I have to say na parang tailor-fitted ang role ni Os for him, as in ang jologs na yabang na...aw, he did well with handling that part given to him. *claps*
But I was really touched that upon the end of the play he really took the time, came over to give us hugs...old friends do bring that form of unexplainable nostalgia (that washed me then) na hindi ko maget over kahit san pa ko nakakarating. Maybe it's the sj connection, hahaha. And of course coz these are the people na naging part na rin ng buhay ko before.
We ate at Heaven n Eggs...first time na naman sa kin to, hehehe. Dun sa Timog. Then a little chat...os had to catch up na lng. Grabe ang sarap ng food. Tapos after that uwi na kmi, hehehe.
At pag uwi ko ng midnight I thought the day was over na. Pero hindi pa pla, kasi I suddenly had the urge to text rep, basta, I wanted to talk to him pa sa phone. I asked for five to ten mins.
To my surprise he called me nga. I guess I soo underestimated my value before this friend of mine. Until this talk of ours. Alam ko super loka kmi nito, daming ewan times at puro kulits kasi epal xa sa buhay, hahaha- pero seriously speaking mas nakilala ko tlg siya after this 'talk.' Hindi ko na sasabihin kung ano ung mga napag-usapan, pero this is what happened: I understood this friend of mine more than I thought possible.
At nagpapasalamat ako lalo sa diyos na super super ang gift niya sa kin with this guy here, hehehe.
Anyway right now I'm with one of my- actually she's my best friend na girl sa ust now at super labs ko to, si Arianne, or si Yani. Hmm...I think we should go, and just in time balak ko na i-close itong entry na to...I just ranted, hehehe.
Cge, lovey'all and I miss you guys lots. :) Thanks for stopping by...
my cousin, and...look under the cart...
Love to faults is always blind, Always is to joy inclined.
Lawless, winged, and unconfined,
And breaks all chains from every mind.
Don't read if you're an antichrist
At sino naman ako para magreklamo?
I just watched Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ movie...violently portrayed yet as realistic as he can possibly make it to be...pero honestly may mga mistakes pa rin, like ung pinalo sa kanya, it's not just a whip- from expert speculation, ung ginamit dw dti ung handle na at the end, a bunch of ordinary ropes, pero may mga broken glasses at each end- so imagine the agony kung ihahataw sa bare back mo un...my goodness, sympre at evry stoke pati balat mo sasama...*shiver*
But that's not really why I'm writing here to pour out my emo (yeah, but whatever, this is my space here and I'm not hurting anyone with intention). Today ko lang ksi xa npanood. And sa totoo lang, I can very well understand why marami ang nakiramdam sa movie na to.
I cried with the scenes...di ko na nabilang, hahaha.
I initially found myself laughing a bit coz of course, I've known this story na long before, pero it's just now that I realized how much I haven't put into my heart yet. Well, my aunt recently told me na yan ang prob ko- I simply know God by head, pero I mostly forget to love Him with my heart. Yun bang, yes, I know Christ died violently- naresearch ko nga step-by-step how he died in the physiological sense. But how violently, I haven't really had a good insight through the eyes of my heart.
And thus, I am humbled.
Naisip ko, Lord, ako eto complain ako nang complain about what's happening in my life, na hindi ako macontento sa grades ko, sa parents ko, sa sinasabi ng mga tao about me...na sa failures ko nagpapatalo kaagad ako...na konting discouragement lang I stumble back with fear...na pag nagkakasala ako minsan nababalewala ko na lang...na hindi lang minsan na pinagdudahan ko kayo, pinagkaila sa madla dahil ako ay isang duwag...yes, Jesus- I am selfish, I am dishonest, I am a traitor, I am a sloth, a bad example, a disgrace to your glory, a hypocrite, a very disobedient girl, an envious brat.
Sometimes I don't know if I should even be rightfully called a Christian. I am so weak. I am such a doubter, na even sa mga graces na binibigay niyo nag-aalangan ako (especially my friends, na alam ko galing sa iyo pero natatakot ako magbigay, magshare...). I have been doing my own kind of vengeance to my father, and you know as I know that you see it all and you hurt. I am led astray by my own actions. You persistently pull me back, but I insist on being 'free' in my sinful ways.
Yes. I am...human. A natural sinner, among all things.
And yet...for all these things...this foul life I've been leading...you died. You came here, the incarnate, suffered in the hands of mere men whom you may have smitten if it was in your will, but no...you chose to die for me- and for everyone. You could have left man to burn in hell, but with all the love you have there...you still pick humanity up and let us choose to believe in your salvific plan. And no, that wasn't enough for you- you even led me to you in the midst of my suffering- I remember those moments, and I thank you for them.
Alam mo, I know deep within I've been praying to you...I know of my filth. I know of my unworthiness. I know of my sins. Lately naghehesitate na nga ako magkwento ng tungkol sa araw ko sa inyo kasi I feel so dirty...I feel like a slut who has allowed so much sin into her hands...
But on the other hand...who is worthy to be called good anyway? Nobody is innocent. Nobody is good. Nobody is holy, but Jesus, the good shepherd who is surely sinless but died a horrible death. He allowed himself to bleed so much so that we may know salvation as we have it...and have a chance to be with him in the next life.
Alam ko, you are not pleased with my actions. And I do not want to go on like this...straight to the path of ignorance, no Lord, you have given me wisdom and I would like to use it now to ask for your unending forgiveness. And you have said in the scriptures that I should not worry...so help me. Give me strength that I may fully lay down all unnecessary worries right there in the foot of your cross. Give me patience that I may be a light to others, be Christlike for others to be inspired...and follow you.
I know I will never be perfect, and I will have to constantly grow by choice. In spirit, be with me always. Make me hunger for you, thirst for your word so that I may know you...and let yourself be revealed to be everyday. Make me need you and yearn for you so intensely that I will not pay unnecessary attention to material things...for in you is true happiness, in you is true wisdom, in you is true satisfaction. Humble me each day as I seek to understand you more...that I may grow to love you in familiarity and faith.
Give me your insight in the midst of my daily persecutions...hear me when I call out to you if I should be your instrument for the salvation of others through the word. I know they know not what I live for, what I accept...what I portray...let me not fall into their taunting and influence. Let me remain in you wherever I go and whoever I go with. Purify my relationship with my brothers and sisters, whom you command me to love without condition...as you do with me.
Have mercy as I cry out for my loved ones, my family and friends so that they may know you...show them, impress to them your might, the truth that you exist to save...that it is only by knowing you well and having a relationship with you that we can ever be complete. No, not by grades, not with other people, not money, not expensive stuff, not a top career, not fame, not parental approval, not a professional title...only you, dear Lord, only you.
All this I ask in your name...Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. Amen.
I wasted one day?! hmm...
I am sort of annoyed with the weathermen who don't really do their jobs well. Because of their inaccurate prediction of the 'storm,' sinuspend tuloy ng dep-ed ung pasok sa thursday, nutrition subject. Yeah, it's a make-up class alright, but still, it's a waste having to sit here in the house when I could have finished off with that quiz. And more other tasks, too. But on the other hand, my sensible mind tells me those guys in PAGASA did their jobs well. It's better safe than sorry. And sure, let the students rest for the weekend...(yeah right)
Honestly I completed a lot of tasks this weekend, so I wouldn't say na waste ang break ko. I cooked meals for my fam, bonding time with them, blog read and write, over-watched tv, played with Lebron (ung new dog namin na di pla alam ni Jrep!- look at him, pic nya)...ayun.
At oo nga pla, nakausap ko na rin si Repi so complete na naman ang week ko (ano ka, vitamin c? hahahaha!). No, seriously this friend of mine...grabe, ang tiyaga tumawag, ksi nmn wrong timing, kung di ako nasa kusina, nagluluto naman ako. Pero sa wakas kanina we finally talked a bit. But even then I hope to see him sometime...
BTW, sj friends! Saan ba ang lakad this season? :) love y'all, tc tc...^^
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)