My four recent life-altering realizations:
1. Anni wants a baby in the future:
OK, I know I've been telling people that I hate children, all the more the idea of having my own. They make so much noise and a whole lot of trouble in the actual setting and in passing. I once swore that I would never have my own children- not with all that pain of delivering one's own and spending all that energy and effort to rear a whole bunch of them rats running in the house.
But my babysitting time with my one year-old niece Gracie made me reconsider.
I was initially feeling unhappy when I was told to babysit this girl without warning- my aunt just handed her to me while her parents were gone. I thought of my learned principles in pediatrics and handed her a bright object to keep her preoccupied- Rubiks cube, yey. It's bright, it's original so it can't be broken down into pieces by her tiny hands, and it's movable- multidimensional enough to pass time for her exploring pleasure.
Sitting with her on the bed, I turned on the TV and watched the evening news. I glanced at her every now and then and thought, 'buti naman at hindi siya maingay ngayon, hehehe.'
Just when I thought that that was it, she suddenly swayed her body sideways, as if wanting to rest her upper body. I took it as a sign that she wanted to lean against something, so I fixed the pillow and let her lean against it. It didn't keep her steady. She was looking for some good place to rest her head upon. I tried to make her face other directions, but to no avail. Finally, as a last resort, I let her lie beside me as I watched TV.
'Ayan,' I said, stroking her hair gently as I handed to her the cube. She took it and I turned back to the TV.
I was surprised when suddenly, a few moments later, she let go of the cube, reached for my hand which rested on my tummy, and held my fingers. I was even more stunned when she let her head rest on my chest.
Mush mush mush mush...
I was soo amused that I gave her a sudden lecture, 'Oh, ikaw, mag-aaral ka mabuti ah. Hindi lahat nakakapag-aral...' (and when I said that, I had to ask myself- what the heck was I doing??!!!)
That moment reminded me of a little talk between a certain nurse and a surgeon (both of who were fathers to their own kids) during one of my assisted cases in the operating room. One of the lines was-
"Mahirap eh (magpalaki ng bata). Magastos pa. Pero iba talaga kapag uwi mo, at tinawag ka...'papa, papa.' Parang lahat ng pagod mo, nawawala."
And maybe it's just in this rare moment that I really understood what that meant. The rewarding experience of parenting? Hmmm...change change. Hahahaha. Or maybe Anni is just keso. Wahaha.
2. Med school becomes a real option:
Recently my mother and my father are thinking of sending me to med school. I really don't know for now, but I have to think it through. I feel that with my passion for more knowledge and expertise, I might just...but then, do I have what it takes to stay to make it to the end?
Honestly, I don't know for now. I'm being lazy with nursing. What if I do just the same (and even worse) with med school? Then money would really be a waste...and all that time. I can be working after my boards, but med school will keep me from there for a while. I had entertained the thought long before, but I just laughed it off. As I told Mark once, 'I'm just a lover of knowledge, but generally I'm no genius like you.'
Hehehe. Ewan. Pero kung hindi lang sa time, I might just dive into it soon...
Sabi naman ng mga ka-rle ko recently, lalo na si Lorenz- mag-masters na lang daw ako instead na CI (which I see more as a possibility compared to med school). Well, new options...man, I never thought I'd take that idea seriously...Anni taking more chances in the field...man, oh man...
Doc Teng...Doc Teng..? Hahahahaha. We'll see.
3. Anni's biggest turnoff among the opposite sex? Swearing!
I haven't told a lot of people about it, but I am against swearing. It's a waste of words and a chance of entertaining conflict between people. Harsh words stir up anger, sabi nga sa Bible. I just don't get it with people who have the presumption that Swearing=Cool/ Togetherness. It's not all there is with being cool or having it together.
And so when a cute guy I've been eyeing (I know it's just a minor case of crushing, hehehe) swears...my attraction goes down to level zero. Hahaha. And how I realized that with my types, hehehe.
But here's the fun thing. My biggest turn on is not swearing (yeah right), hehehe. Kidding. Well though it follows that I generally tend to have a high regard for those who do not swear, it's not my main button. I am a bad sucker for people who keep a good relationship with the Lord. In a more serious turn, I am one to refuse commitment (or even the idea of it) with someone who does not have this important aspect. Siyempre dapat lang. It's part of the Scriptures.
Parang eleksyon lang yan. Choose wisely. Hahahaha.
4. Eto reinforced na lang ito- (also the idea of Mr. John Maxwell) People will only care about what you say if they know that you care:
Some events have led me to fully keep my hold on this principle. Which is true. Siyempre, we won't tell someone our secrets or narrate to someone the recent happenings of our lives, not unless we are aware that they genuinely care. Which is why in my experience I always make it a point to show and make the person feel that I'm listening and I'm fully interested. How?
- Verbally- With reassuring words, regard everything that the person has to say. Or if it's rather needed (given an awkward situation or maybe even through the phone), give a direct assurance- "I'm listening."
- It's in the tone- Avoid monotone responses. It kills the momentary emotions of the conversation.
- Stance says more- If you may, lean forward or turn your body towards the person talking. Never move your body away from the speaker (unless you have to so excuse yourself). Don't hang your shoulder over the backrest of the chair, because in psychological terms, that defines domination and can intimidate the other person.
- The eyes have it- If possible and not hindered by cultural differences, meet the listener eye to eye periodically throughout the conversation. The eyes really mirror more expression than we think. Intent is easily seen through the eyes of the listener.
- Time the reactions- React as you should. Timely reactions are the best indicator of a good listener. When you have to freak out, go. If you're made to laugh, come on. Don't hide it- it's a waste of good chance of showing you care.
- Therapeutic touch- It works well. When it's a fearsome issue, grip his/her hand. If it's a fun thing, hug her and jump around...whatever, depending on the level of agreed physical intimacy. If it's a cry-hard issue...best hug when you feel that it's needed or when the person cannot go on anymore. Ganoon. Hahahaha.
- Clarify and get it over with- if you find any part of the speaker's statements incomprehensible, make sure you clarify past a pose (depending on the speaker, if she's one to entertain interruptions well). But this shows a high level of eagerness on the listener's part- the effort to really understand everything that the speaker wishes to communicate to the other party.
- Minimize distractions- If it's a long talk, set a time for it. Don't text, except when it's important. Courtesy counts. If you have to excuse yourself or even possibly suspend the conversation, do it with courtesy to the speaker so that he or she won't feel rejected/ unimportant to you.
- Make it your purpose- This is the most important aspect. If you're really hanging on to every word of the speaker and you internalize all of it...the rest follows subconsciously. It's easy to catch a distracted listener who only ends up hearing the words if his or her heart's not in it.
I know what it personally feels to be rejected and not listened to. And so I take it upon myself to make sure that I try my best not to make anyone feel that way because I know how bad it is...I let them know first of all that I do care, then they just...they just start talking. :)