The Need to Belong to a Church

Whenever someone asks me about my religion, I simply answer that I am a biblical Christian, which is of course the truth. And that brief retort is usually followed by pressing questions such as, "What kind?" tailed with kind suggestions of sect names or Christian church branches. As if that's all there is to being a Christian. 

Well I can't blame them. For one, the popular opinion is...of course, popular, hehe. And this lone writer can't do anything to instigate instantaneous change. 

And looking back now, this is probably why I had initially avoided belonging to a church, especially a megachurch where there are too many people coming in and going out. For a critical thinker like me, the concept of trying to fit in is rather shallow and sad. I had thought that the church is probably where all the lonely souls go. I had long dismissed churches as a mere promoter of such worldly belonging. I don't ever want to be associated with some holy lonely hearts club with one basic identity (and yes, churches do have typical identities which outsiders know of). 

Above all, I did not want my Christian identity to be tainted and dismissed as another passing fad. I did not want my faith to be neatly boxed in a category, much like the way that most offices would commonly organize manual time cards according to department. And belonging to a church did that, more often than not. 

Hmmm... Maybe from here you'd think that I have met a lot of not-so-good Christians in my life. Truthfully, I have to say that I am blessed that most of my encounters with Christ followers are favorable, if not superb. Yet the fact remains that I have a lot of doubts about the need to belong to a church. 

Why do I need to belong to a church? I have survived for a while without it. Also, Scripture has it that salvation is relationship-based: that is, if I accept the Lord Jesus by faith, then I am saved and free. Christian faith is founded on the credo that Jesus is the Way to eternal life. Nowhere does the Bible offer church membership in the equation as a prerequisite to enter heaven.

So again! Why do I need to belong to a church?

Here are my current thoughts: 

1. Coming together promotes Godly encounter.

I believe what one wise pastor had recently suggested to me. Grouping is a logical and natural human tendency. In the primitive times, homo sapiens gradually organized themselves to form the early civilization. Out of that instinctive assembly came forth technological advancement and revolutionary discoveries which eventually shaped man's life as it is. From this I can see how the meeting of minds, the joining of individuals to form communities, brought about progress.

This basic concept worked with the early Christians as they saw it fit to come together in the spirit of Christ-centered fellowship. "They devoted themselves...to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to prayer." (Acts 2:42) The same concept forms socio-civic clubs, peer groups, and family units. The latter, as well as this connecting concept, is undoubtedly sanctified by the Creator Himself.

Thinking back on my lone ranger days, I realize that some of the most memorable encounters I've had are my profound engagements with Christians. There is a mysterious joy formed in being with fellows who share the same passion and goal of promoting the love of Jesus to everyone. 

2. Immersion draws us closer to perfection.

My second assumption is derived from the first. Going to church forms healthy relationships with people of the same faith. It also allows one to identify with their brothers and sisters in Jesus and learn how to be more Christlike from them. It is a very powerful wellspring of blessings in material and immaterial forms. Might as well tap it like free water than wander with a parched mouth in a dry desert. 

My recent visits to a Christian church in Caloocan have somewhat proven this point. For some reason, I felt all warm and fuzzy within after several close encounters with the regular churchgoers. (And this is coming from an intellectual nut like me!) The sincere greetings, firm handshakes, and fluffy bear hugs, had my mind going in defense mode, while my heart freely soared! At first I must admit that I was rather iffy with the kindness of those people, but their consistently happy and accepting nature made me look back more than once...and rethink my take on church involvement.

Truly, being around such wonderful people made me challenge my personal limitations. After knowing them, I could not wait to have God make me like one of them. I knew I needed the growth spurt! So I joined them.^^ 

3. As we gather, we find answers. 

And the bomb of a reason came after I had listened to the church's discussion of "Let Us," which highlights the value of being really involved in the work of God through the church. I believe that God somehow "accidentally" scheduled this series in the church for people like me. After this, church involvement actually made more sense to me. 

It is true that the lone lamb usually gets carried off by lions. (I need the connection and encouragement.)

It is true that turning away from one another encourages defeat. (No wonder my joyful episodes are short-lived!)

Through listening to the series of teachings in church services, I was able to find a wealth of information about my current dealings with God. Such knowledge can only come through Spirit-led revelation. No amount of googling can unearth this kind of wisdom. It is distinctly given to God's ordained ministers, who are then tasked to teach these things to community members like me. 

And I must say that I have gained a lot of food for thought after regularly attending the Sunday services. I was also strengthened to become connected and involved with the Christians around me. Much later, I gained more wisdom and encouragement by sharing my thoughts in smaller groups. 

So after a long time of brooding, I snapped out of it. I think I stopped stressing myself out with finding more reasons when God gently tapped me and said, "Why don't you stay simply because you're enjoying it with Me?" 

And now I have let go of my discomfort. I have thrown it away to allow Him to reveal to me the wonder of being with Him through Christian fellowship. Although I have yet to fully understand this church thing, I trust God in this matter now. Lord, show me your wonderful plans! 

Thank God for the gift of a church! What a difference this church involvement has made! Thank you Lord! I've never been so, so happy in my life! No man is an island, indeed!

Need You

To endlessness
To forever
There is no other happiness
I will find none other

From the moment when I saw you
I was indifferent
I looked away, and you knew
And from there we went

Like flowers that grow beautifully
With the flow of seasons
Our love flourished freely
And found profound reasons
Why I just had to fight
Why I needed to fall
In pain, in the dark of the night
In the challenge of losing all

Yes, I realize more and more
As I smile right here with you
In life there's more in store
Yet all I need is You
I am filled with the assurance
The surest contentment
That I have all my fair chance
Because I belong in the arms of
Your contentment
Because beyond there's more in store
Yes, all I need is You
Yes, all I need is You

Contentment

Very happy.:)

In the wee hours of the morning, I am basking in the thankfulness that I have for the Lord. Just when I thought I knew what it meant to be fine, here I am realizing that things can indeed get better and sweeter- especially my relationship with God.

So what happened? No rain of manna or a thousand loaves here, but more of... rejoicing. It's an ongoing process, a beautiful journey in finding God. Sounds totally cliche, but now I am deeply contemplating the meaning of this often-used statement. *sigh*

I am not saying I have a perfect relationship with God...far from it. But in the silence/restlessness/contemplation these past few months, I am now understanding that there is nothing more definite than my identity and will in the light of God's identity and will. Meaning that I can only surely find my significance through knowing Him. And it's not just a trial thing...it's a commitment that I have to decide fully on.

Do I have my heart set to it? I hope so. And after the incident last Sunday, I believe God has empowered me more again in my weakness. And following God comes out of habit... it's not a buffet menu wherein I can select only what I want. I must be willing to embrace all that the Lord deems well for me.

"Above all, guard your heart..."

With these realizations, I also came face to face with my personal challenge again. I guess lately I am accepting that I have a particularly weak spot in the coronaries...ouch. Nowadays it's like when I see him (seldom) or think about him (often), my whole sense is thrown out through the glass window. I am very much aware that this is just another state of distant limerence...but my heart's crazy enough to go with it at each encounter! Grr.

How to deal with it? Of course, eliminate the source. So that means: Go kill myself? Or shoot him instead! No no. Haha.

For the meantime I think a crucial point is 1.avoidance. Don't go looking for the source. And 2.diversion. Keep busy and productive. Sweep the house daily if needed. Read good books. Wash dishes and pots at once. Play more piano pieces. Fold dry laundry. Hit more pro points in Wii tennis, boxing, and bowling. ALWAYS do the devotions...pray, pray, pray.

Hahahaha. My current selection of methods is very domestic. And he is just an ordinary man, like the flu. But inflicting me quite the plague. Hahahaha.

And what do I do when the plague asks for my number?

Ah. S.O.S. Shall overcome soon. Lord!!!

The Rock vs John Cena @ Wrestlemania 28: The Aftermath

April 2, 2012.

Past the year-long promotion and development of this much-awaited matchup, the People's Champ and the Leader of the Cenation battle it out (as The Rock fondly puts it, "Fiiinally!") in Miami, Florida.

It had been a long wait. It had been exciting enough to watch The Rock making his electrifying comeback to WWE in the early 2011, (much to the surprise of his millions and millions of fans, especially since he seemed to have made it apparent for a while that he had no intention of returning, not after he had made all those movies). And while this unexpected revival of Rockymania was just getting everyone at the edge of their seats in anticipation of his next move, he turns on the unsuspecting Cena, dissing the Cenation and bringing up some unfinished business with the King of Thuganomics, who of course, lashes out Cena-rap style, complete with purple pinwheels, fruity pebbles, and his chain gang style of subtle mockery in humorous rhythmic gimmicks. 

And so the match we had all been waiting for finally went down in Sun Life Stadium as the main event of the night. I watched it with my brothers at home through cable TV, one day after the actual show. Wishing to preserve the element of suspense, I even kept myself from checking the net for the results. I thought that as a fan, I just had to watch and enjoy it cluelessly like everyone else in the stadium.

So now, after that, I ask myself: Was it worth the wait?

The Entrance

I am aware that, having watched previous pay-per-view offers of the WWE, that main event entrances are expectedly grander than the usual. But the sing-and-dance numbers just proved to be too lame for a heated battle between two characters who are being built up as big rivals who really, really hate each other (at least that's how the storyline goes). Although the numbers made use of the event's theme songs, I don't think it was fitting for the matchup. The main event entrances had an effect much like shiny hang-up decors and stringed running lights smothering a Chriatmas tree. Of course Wrestlemania is for the supporting (and paying) fans, but I think they went too far with this.

Nowadays I'm hearing a lot of feedback that the true spirit of wrestling entertainment is dying as more emphasis and airtime is being given for gimmicks unrelated to the ongoings in the ring. The sing-and-dance choice for the "match of the night" underscored that idea. Forgive the nostalgia, but this made me yearn for the good-old days of Austin's shatter-glass entrance, Undertaker's hooded entourage, Shawn's impressive flight, and even Triple H's 'Kings' theme. There's a positive side to this, though- the entrances for this event left so much room for improvement.


The Match

The rivals started off by facing each other, taunting each other nonverbally. It's amazing enough to have two of these superstars in one ring, and both of them, knowingly cashing in on that, acted smart. These two popular entertainers showed the world again that they have the skill to thrill the crowd, and the fans- cheering 'Rocky' or 'Cena'- responded accordingly as they fed on the suspense.

After a while of holding back, they started off. They took turns giving each other a taste of their in-ring moves. From here I had a foreboding feeling that this would not be as action-packed as expected. Or perhaps it's just the warm-up...

According to the commentators, The Rock has an injury in the midsection, and so Cena kept crushing him with both arms around his chest. This went on for a while, and the unchallenging and repetitive move made me sleepy. Come on, where's the action?!

And later there was a moment at the top of the turn buckle (not believable)...the submission holds (yawn, bad acting)...the FU, and then the People's Elbow, which had everone screaming. I particularly enjoyed that part, because it's classic. Cena's special moves also had me watching closely. I was laughing when the Rock waved his open right hand in a mocking imitation of Cena's trademark "you can't see me" taunt, right before it backfired as Cena countered it with a fist to his face.

But that's about it. Everything else aside from their  special moves just made me raise my eyebrow and pretend that I can't see the match that was going down...in rating. Cliche, cliche, cliche.

The Finale

And just when I thought that the match would go agonizingly longer, Cena finds a moment to make a mockery of the People's elbow as he takes off his green Cenation arm band and tosses it to the crowd. And just as he was hitting the ropes for the phenomenal elbow drop, The Rock quickly gets up, grabs him, and nails him down in a solid Rock Bottom...and the pinfall...1,2,3. The end.

My Analysis

Many people had claimed that this was a match worth watching. My favorite superstar HBK had even remarked that this matchup was a rarity, thus the high anticipation. Everyone had thought they'd finally see these two very charismatic icons put up the best show ever.

I agree that both Cena and The Rock are two of the most popular superstars in the business. It follows that they are also two of the most marketable guys in this season. But as their match has already proved it, they are certainly not the best in-ring performers in this era. With a considerably good record of matches, The Rock is capable of putting up a more impressive match than this. So what happened? Has he gone soft? Has he developed the star complex and now refuses to work on strategial action-packed matches with other superstars, whom he now considers subordinate to him? I am hoping that this is not the case. I am a fan of the eyebrow-raising, pie-eating actor with the undeniable appeal of an action star in and out of the ring. I dare him to prove me wrong in this supposition.

And what of John Cena? I strongly agree with the Cenation that he is cool, creative, and...Cenatic. He has his own brand- no, wait- he IS his own brand. Yet I think he needs to improve on his techniques in the ring and create more over-the-top matches if he wants to be the total package. Some fans have accepted that he's not gonna improve because he's just naturally too buff and bulky to be doing throwing, tumbling, and high-flying moves. But his life story (like The Rock's) tells of a man doing more than what is expected of him to have his dreams. Well if he was willing to go the distance to reach his current level of success, he might as well step up his game- and fast.

My Verdict

Nevertheless, as a fan, I was disappointed. I was expecting a lot of action this time from both of them, but for me, they failed to deliver. The wait was not worth it. I wish the bookers just put HHH and Undertaker last in the roster as the main event. That would have been more fitting as a Wrestlemania main event. (Rating: 6/10)

Predictions and Future Thoughts

Initially I thought that the victory would be given to Cena, since his fan base is younger compared to that of the Rock. But the location turned out to be a more crucial factor in that decision. The Rock was billed from Miami early in his career, so I guess the corporate side of the company found it appropriate to make him the winner of the matchup.

And the way Cena had handled it (he was talking to the fans through the video recording during his entrance to the ring, which I think is kinda breaking kayfabe as he was not focusing on this rivalry with his opponent), perhaps he found it...unacceptable, and just went through the motions to the end of the 30-minute show. Or was he just really not in his performance mood that night and just trashed it for both of them?

And on to the future... What of these two now? I read somewhere that The Rock might not be showing up for a long time again due to his hectic taping schedule. I hope not. His victory would be futile if so. In common sense, victory should be given to the player who deserves to be built up as a face in the company. In my opinion, the company might be able to make better storylines (and cash) if they gave Cena the victory...that is, if The Rock really plans on making his next movies anyway. Defeating The Rock would have given Cena a good boost.

But then again, maybe the creative team has got better ideas in store for future storylines. I had predicted that Lesnar would be the one to pick up where the Rock may leave off...and I am sensing that maybe, just maybe... it can work in their favor. 

Le Festin

*Listening to 'Why' by Secondhand Serenade*

It's another day...just now I got home after downing a couple of beers and barbecued meats with my foreign friends. Not a bad way to finish the day. After all, I am toasting for my very good score in the government exam. This qualifies me to the next step: entrance exam to my target med school in January next year. Thank you Lord for making this miracle. I am happy and awed at the same time at how you can really have it your way regardless of my personal limitations...or how I feel about them. You just let it happen because you want it to happen like so.

So what's next, Lord? Am I going back to my teaching stint? You tell me! Ha! Last night was fantastic, by the way. That guy Jojo was really an impressive wise speaker. Also Paul. As a natural logician I keep thinking about the reason behind having a church. Why the need? What makes it necessary? 

But then I may have to abandon this contemplation for the meantime when I think: Is not the blessedness of belonging to such a warm community enough to convince me to keep going to church and really belonging to such Godly fellowship? Of course I will continue asking my questions and probing wise minds for satisfactory answers...but even without totally comprehending everything now (which will never absolutely occur in my lifetime of existence), I go with the joy...and faith... Belonging to the fellowship...is just joyful. Being with people who really share the same joy...is beautiful. I seriously wonder about it. 

Also there's my thing for my brothers. I hope that in the remaining days of my vacation, I get to know them better...and know how to treat them best in various situations. I want to be a good sister to them. I want to learn more about handling the household affairs, too. I want to learn how to cook more dishes for them!

Work, church, family... let's see what happens. Go Lord! You really work according to your plan and your own time. 

Also, bless the person who happens to be reading this.^^

Three days left

Tonight I write. 

It's been a while since I felt the urge to write something here. It's almost midnight. After another day of studying and typical house chores, I'm in my element again, and that means I am in my optimal performance to the dawn. After this net break, I am definitely going to go back to studying Physics and Chemistry. Yeah!

It's strange, though...I've had some interesting insights these past few days. Maybe it's greatly due to the pre-hype for my upcoming government exam, which is taking place this Sunday. Although I DID allot about 25 days for my studying session, I only started seriously delving into specific topics just two days ago, which means that technically I'm only using six days of studying for this very important exam. 

Yes, I got lazy. So undisciplined. No excuses for that, heh. Some things don't easily change. 

But on the bright side, I AM actually studying for this one... unlike that time with my licensure exam (I did a lot of light reading for that one). It feels refreshing to think that it's really been years since I have studied this hard- with focus and determination. Even with the cramming issue here, I realize now that I am studying purposefully this time. Gradually, I am coming to terms with my life ambitions. I am seeing a definite reason for striving that is in line with God's plans for me. 

On the lighter side, my occasional mood shifts from confidence to terror is an evidence of how much I value this opportunity before me. 

Wow...I am actually driven to fight for my dream. I know that I have to do well this Sunday because my dream is at stake! Can I do it? Can I get an impressive score? Of course~ by faith, I will get to the second step, and third, and fourth...and then...*excitement bubbling* Oh, but I am terrible at Math... well, I did finish studying that today, but still, the numbers make me cringe... 

Lord, please let me have this one. I believe that this has been the leap of faith you've been telling me to go for. So here I am- not contemplating or visualizing, but- presently MAKING that solid step forward. Ikaw na ang bahala sa akin.

Here's to fighting for the dream. 

Cashier for a day

just got home from my special shift... since i just got on my indefinite leave from work to study for my special exam, i had a lot of free time in my hands. well of course i have to study and focus on producing an above average score on my march 25 exam, but that doesn't mean i shouldn't enjoy new experiences.

so this morning, after waking up from a despairing dream, i decided to spice up my day a bit by volunteering to come along with my mother to the drug store in bulacan, which is about an hour's drive away from our house. recently, my mother is managing the entire operations of the drug store, so she'd need all the help she could get. i figured that she needed it today in particular, because she had a lot of bank-related transactions to finish. someone always needs to keep an eye on the employees and man the main cashier booth...and just for today i decided to give it a try. so without much thought, i put on some casual clothes and went off with her.

i thought it was going to be easy, but soon i realized that running a pharmacy is not at all simple. there was no time to relax. as soon as i got in, i found myself counting and handing out cash and coins, being careful to keep the balance in the accounts. on the side, the employees had me check other things, too. i soon forgot to take a break and eat lunch. in the store, eating is not allowed in order to keep pests away...so at around 6pm i was hypoglycemic...my sugar was running low and i was starting to feel dizzy then. i was also having miscalculations in my transactions, so i knew i had to find a solution quickly. i didn't want to distract anyone, though- so i simply asked for a bottle of coke to keep me standing there. it was good enough to get my presence of mind back, but not good for my stomach due to the resulting increase in acidity.-.-

at around 7:30 my mother called me to a particular area by the stock room to have dinner. the viand was fried fish. typically i don't like fish that is not served hot, but my hunger overwhelmed me, so i just wolfed down three fish and a bit of rice. yum. and then i expressed to my mother how amazed i am with her endurance...being able to stay there and take care of the operations. it's quite a task for just one person, really. i felt glad to know then that my coming to the office has helped my mother in finishing some accounting tasks for today. i believe that this experience has taught me a lot. the most important thing i got is a more profound understanding of my mother's recent experiences. she's quite a woman. i can proudly say that she's a great sister to my uncle and a good mother to me. she's so persevering. i wish i had the same level of perseverance... but now i realize, i need so much more to learn how to handle things that efficiently.

on the way home, i played some of my songs... in particular i played and played safe and sound (taylor swift) and in heaven (jyj). earlier in the afternoon i had the chance to organize my playlists, espcially the new set of songs which my friend had shared with me, so i decided to test them on the road. the music got me in the mood, so i urged my mom to eat something. i was just supposed to get a serving of vanilla frappuccino, but i had to choose another option due to availability issues- i opted for a zinger double down - that's two slices of spicy chicken with bacon and cheese in between. i shared it with my mother, who thought that it was superb (her first time to try it)^^

now it's time to sleep. gonna read a book again and slip away to dreamland.