Disturbances...

I feel deeply disturbed. Besides this anti-tetanus and anti-hepa b booster that got my shoulders feeling like it's been overworking out, hahaha...my heart is feeling uneasy, although the catalyst is at the moment taking his zzz's, grrr...hahahaha!

I met up with my friend today who has been feeling too much sentiments recently after getting sort of 'betrayed.' Sentiments...soo contagious...haay.

So what am I feeling disturbed about? Honestly, I can't pinpoint it now...nobody said peach can easily do that despite feeling almost certain about her emotional probs most of the time, hehehe.

Friends. We all have friends. Some of us even have more than that. But do you know that God says friendship is the best kind of relationship we can have?:) I can tell that most of us can relate to that, tell a story of faithfulness and stuff...being free to be yourself in front of someone...to love and be loved without condition...indeed, friendship is a heavenly gift for those of us who have found the real thing.

I have no problem with that. I can go on for a day telling anyone about how blessed I am in this aspect of my life. But then...

My friend, who's recently in pain...well...he said some things to me which I have never heard from someone else...and upon hearing these things I feel soo unworthy. So weak.

This evening, in the middle of a laugh/bad trip he wanted me to promise that I "will never leave him no matter what happens."

Suddenly upon facing his request I realize I am not strong enough. Yes, I could answer, "Sure, I can!" And go on promising that I will be faithful and that I won't leave him like his other friends did.

But I didn't. I didn't have the nerve. It would have been a lie if I did. I am, after all, human. I have limitations. And the roads of life do not really go parallel as they are crossing each other.

But I can do so much for my friends. I can be loyal as much as I can be. I can fight for them. I can stay beside them. I can laugh and cry with them. I can enjoy bouts of happiness with them. My letters to them tell a lot about these. I give them my love while the time is right. While I am alive.

But people change. One day I might be off somewhere, working in a different setting, having a new set of friends. Although I can keep the old ones in my heart...physically, I have to leave them...eventually.

But my dear friends, we are not alone in this life. We have Jesus, our bestest friend, no matter what. And I feel that it is up to us to give it to Him to keep us in the arms of our friends (come on, He's God, so he's got the best planner).

So if things do not go as planned...if we find ourselves alone...even when we are betrayed by someone very dear to us...siya na ang bahala. In eveything naman eh...if we give it up to Him, we are surely walking on solid ground.

So to my friend's request of promising, all I could reply was, "...in God's grace." :)