Today I am sooo sooo lethargic. And diaphoretic. And experiencing bradycardia.
Maybe most of you would except that in summer I am just the bum. Well you're right- at least physically...unless you don't count cooking, washing the dishes (I soo hate it), laundry, sweep, mop...and the internet (ei, you use fingers there!!! hahahahaha).
An agenda into action:
Anyway, I am so keen on utilizing this vacation period not to rest and party it out anni-style, but to actively write, write, write, and etc. For since my first year, in pursuit of my love-hate relationship with my inevitable (and admittedly, blossoming) nursing career, I had to put my sketching and writing tendencies behind...just force them all to pop like bubbles and disappear...
But no. Like with that handwritten seven-notebook adventure story I stuffed in my dresser cabinet, or with those poems I had posted in my fictionpress account, I guess my heart never really had the guts to destroy them for a finale. I am still a writer, and I know it in myself. I am still the trying artist who has lead for blood and inspiration for glucose...who will forever be l8blmr-raven, eni linna, and...yeah, the blogger yours truly, wildcard07.
The only difference I guess is, in two years I will soon have an RN tailing those pseuds...for now, I sign with my RN CI's (registered nurses, clinical instructors) using SN (student nurse). How's that for motivation...
A Frenchwoman's confession:
In my moments of strong writing and random sketching desires I feel like a real beach for not standing up for these two significant loves of mine. I feel like a two-timing sleuth each time I feel lonesome and have to automatically resort to paper-and-pen therapy to relieve myself, just to go back again to nursing business full-throttle when I return to my optimum state. I feel like such a hoar for denying my having them whenever my superiors would acknowledge or even question them (what are you doing here, you're supposed to be in CFAD- college of fine arts and design). I feel like such a hoe for dearly embracing writing with such fondness during the weekend, yet cling as tightly to my syringes and steth for the rest of the week.
I am still not totally over with that bigtime decision that I had made a couple of years ago when I chose between my ma's wish (be a nurse) and my lingering wants (writer, artist). I still think of it sometimes...how it would have been different had I defied destiny and selected the latter out of pure emotion...
Resolution at hand:
But looking at things now, I think I know where I am supposed to go. There are infinite possibilities in this state called life, and being in the Lord has given me the strength and the tactics to win this situation.
You see people, I cannot explain to you how much I adore nursing now. I have fallen for this career despite my conviction since my younger years that I would never ever take a medical course, despite my fears of syringes (yah right I use that on the newborn baby's thighs), and even despite my negativism towards social relationships, old people, and preganant women. I think nursing was a lifestyle I never counted on being compatible with...but the Lord sure showed me.
By just one test:
Well...there are so many instances where in he did show me, but one of them really shook me up. One night I took this 'gifts' exam. As with the majority of such quizzes, I expected to get writing as my highest...but well, I was surprised to view that I scored highest in healing, with writing coming in only second to that. Come to think of it...hmm, maybe yes, I can go for that cappy costume in the wards, go around in the delivery room in my socks and slippers...
But really, judging with the way my patients easily trust me, I can say maybe I do have that factor, hehehe...let's see now...
Still not over you:
As for my writing and sketching...I don't plan on throwing them, no no...not ever again. I will never be without them. They serve as blessings to others, especially when I perform to amuse them in our bangag days...man the toxicity level is sometimes unbearable that I doodle right on the spot in my small ward notebook just to get rid of the SN toxins, hahahaha...
With nursing I plan on making my twelve-year ambition of writing a full novel a reality. It isn't really over, people...I am still improving, and right after my recent exams I had posted about four of my poems in fictionpress, making someone from somewhere nearly cry out with emotion in his class...hahahaha.
What's up:
- Doing a very big plot out of my handwritten works over the years...
- Reviewing anatomy and physiology book bit by bit, as advised by beloved Ma'am Tanodra...
- Writing poems when I go killigers over my Tamaki, etc...
- Been going out doing nothing in particular except eat dine and dancemania with Repa...
- Plotting a dramatic management change...(I'm not explaining this)
- Bible exploration...
- Reading fanfiction of harry potter where he is such a bastard slytherin and he has an equally evil twin who is fancied by bro's bestfriend draco malfoy...hahahaha...
- Scrabble tourney with my very articulate aunt..
No comments:
Post a Comment