As much as I hate to say it, I think I'm having to much of a good time recently. Too much that I feel unsettled with the imbalance, hehehehe...such condition is not good.
I don't want to be a killjoy or return to my solitude lifestyle, but I just think that I should exercise some self-control on my part. I know myself too well to understand that I am going beyond the capacity of my human self (weirdo). I cannot go 'blaming the environment' for being too conducive for some good-old self-gratification.
My closest friends should know: like most of us in the circle, peach is an adventurer at heart. And to state it simply, I think I'm committing 'overindulgence.' My next step to this now is to resolve to take advantage of what capacity I can humanly manage and do what I should with this fault of mine...
How, you may ask? Well I've been trying to avoid pinpointing the GCF (nyahahaha greatest common factor, yeah right, peach and math? eeeeeeew).
I just think I should stop seeing someone for a while. Yun lang. Kasi frankly the fault is all mine. It's my issue to address. I should keep my head (and myself, come on) on the course I am in. Do my duties. Keep me sane. Keep me busy and interested with med-surg, etc.
And above all, put myself together and go back to my routine of daily spiritual nourishment, which kind of slipped off since I started this addicting habit of going away, hehehehe. As I had proclaimed to myself one bright weekend morning, I just can't- and don't- want to be without God- ever!!! I will be empty again if so.
And as I have committed myself into a personal relationship with Him (na sana noon ko pa hinangad) dapat di ba in-uupdate ko yung sarili ko, as in make contact every beautiful day He gives? Ayun...and I don't like the idea na mas pinipili ko pang habaan ang oras ko with some others when I lack so much time for the Lord who deserves all the glory, duh.
Ayan tuloy, I'm getting more stressed more often...and I feel that I am losing my focus on the race of life...
So I'm trying my best to veer myself away from my overindulgence. Abstinence kung baga. Just to reshift my focus back to the Big Boss, si Itay.
The big question is, how long can I hold up to this? Aaaaaa Lord!!!!
Bumming it out big time
OK fine, so doing the laundry and fixing up my pamphlets for the next duty isn't something that one would call 'fun activity.' But since it does not involve opening my books, I consider it bummin' out. Probably one of my favorite hobbies these days,hmm...*shrug*
Anyway I'm being bitten by the mosquitoes...grr these little pests...
I'm just done with my pamphlets for the health center teachings to be done throughout the shift in Posadas. I just talked with Therese, had a small chitty chat with Bern yesterday...I miss my one and only Bech...hahahaha. Something tells me I should spend some good time with them after the upcoming exams this last week of August (yeah, long wait that is...). Maybe I should ask Rep to plan a bit of a go-out for all of us...
Speaking of which, natatawa na lang ako sa batang iyan...he can fume me ever so dearly but never once had he given me A LOT to think of...until one afternoon, when he texted me some sad episode he's got to deal with. Of course I'm not entitled to spill that but all I can say is that, besides of course that he's just darned feminine (64% to be exact, nyehehehe fine, I'm half-kidding), it astounds me still to realize how people give me much to wonder about, regardless of whoever they are to me.
I don't want to cry, but...
Just today I got to get home at around 8 pm. Yey...*TOJ* (tears of joy)
Yes, you might laugh at this like I do now, but it gives me a warm fuzzy feel somehow to see this through my stressors now. I am loaded with workworkwork, but nevertheless I still got time to appreciate the gifts, the blessings I enjoy around this hostile and cruel world of ours, yeah! Amen to that...
I have a lot of stories to tell after being off this bloghabit for so long...last was my feud trip with therese, hahahaha. And now I just have to pull myself away from this sanctuario of mine before I put pics in and tell you guys of my batcave visits in Bulacan...literally!!!
At yun nga palang mga tagpo namin ng aking pinakamalupit- ah, I mean- pinakamalapit na friendshippers na kagagaling lang ng Bangkok last tuesday...grabe, I just have to say thank you again for that wonderful elephant stuff you smuggled- ah, I mean, brought in, hehehehe. Seriously I appreciated the gift (not the thought? whahahaha). Thank you. And the first time trip was cool, and the dinner...
Ay, why am I even telling now...come on Peachie, don't get started when you're supposed to be doing your Pharma, Socio, Pedia, Med-surg...
BTW! I plan to try the tet for wanna-be MDs. Yeah!!! Hmmm...
Yes, you might laugh at this like I do now, but it gives me a warm fuzzy feel somehow to see this through my stressors now. I am loaded with workworkwork, but nevertheless I still got time to appreciate the gifts, the blessings I enjoy around this hostile and cruel world of ours, yeah! Amen to that...
I have a lot of stories to tell after being off this bloghabit for so long...last was my feud trip with therese, hahahaha. And now I just have to pull myself away from this sanctuario of mine before I put pics in and tell you guys of my batcave visits in Bulacan...literally!!!
At yun nga palang mga tagpo namin ng aking pinakamalupit- ah, I mean- pinakamalapit na friendshippers na kagagaling lang ng Bangkok last tuesday...grabe, I just have to say thank you again for that wonderful elephant stuff you smuggled- ah, I mean, brought in, hehehehe. Seriously I appreciated the gift (not the thought? whahahaha). Thank you. And the first time trip was cool, and the dinner...
Ay, why am I even telling now...come on Peachie, don't get started when you're supposed to be doing your Pharma, Socio, Pedia, Med-surg...
BTW! I plan to try the tet for wanna-be MDs. Yeah!!! Hmmm...
Back pain
I am having back pain at the moment- and pain in my backside. Seriously. Hahaha. It must have been the prolonged sitting, squatting, or maybe the book report I had been trying to finish. Anyway...
I feel so bad about my inferiority as a Christian. I feel sorry for not being a better person- I think I'm deteriorating spiritually. Which is why I know more than ever that I must act upon this dilemma- and fast. I thank God for highlighting this weakness of mine. If not I won't be so aware as I am now, right? So there.
Just this Friday night I had my evening meet with Yani. I miss our one-on-one sessions around Dapitan when the lights come low in the form of postlamps and when there isn't much nursing matters to share but nutrition (food!). Nandun kami kahapon sa Time Cafe. After a long long moment of decision-making, we both opted for the sisig. Nice way to improve health, student nursies. Hahaha. At dahil nagccrave si Yani we also bought cheese fries. Now honestly I don't like fries as much as she does but it's nice to eat when it's a desire to fulfill, hehehe.
I feel the pressure of an undone project today. I know I'm not supposed to be thinking too much of something like that while busy with another project, but here...I'm thinking about it. And as I am done with the first project, I'm now thinking if I should proceed with the next or sleep instead. Hmm...
Kaninang umaga I was in room 224, engaging in a very delightful scriptwriting workshop with a couple of ABs, who seemed very impressed with our showcased talent, which they had a gracious chance of witnessing in our extempore plot formations, etcetera. I now have a script to work on for the next two weeks. Let's see how it turns out- in the office or in the dumpster. Hahaha. Or worse, we might need an autoclave...hahahahaha.
On other news, my adversary leaves for Bangkok today at around 2pm, but not before calling me up the night before his flight off:
I hate to say it, but I'm feeling the cold coming through.
What illness is this? Seems like no meds will do
Just then it hits me- I realize...I'm missing you.
And then I ask next...
I'm missing who?
Hahahahahahahahaha okok I need to post and get off this lunacy chair...NOW.
I feel so bad about my inferiority as a Christian. I feel sorry for not being a better person- I think I'm deteriorating spiritually. Which is why I know more than ever that I must act upon this dilemma- and fast. I thank God for highlighting this weakness of mine. If not I won't be so aware as I am now, right? So there.
Just this Friday night I had my evening meet with Yani. I miss our one-on-one sessions around Dapitan when the lights come low in the form of postlamps and when there isn't much nursing matters to share but nutrition (food!). Nandun kami kahapon sa Time Cafe. After a long long moment of decision-making, we both opted for the sisig. Nice way to improve health, student nursies. Hahaha. At dahil nagccrave si Yani we also bought cheese fries. Now honestly I don't like fries as much as she does but it's nice to eat when it's a desire to fulfill, hehehe.
I feel the pressure of an undone project today. I know I'm not supposed to be thinking too much of something like that while busy with another project, but here...I'm thinking about it. And as I am done with the first project, I'm now thinking if I should proceed with the next or sleep instead. Hmm...
Kaninang umaga I was in room 224, engaging in a very delightful scriptwriting workshop with a couple of ABs, who seemed very impressed with our showcased talent, which they had a gracious chance of witnessing in our extempore plot formations, etcetera. I now have a script to work on for the next two weeks. Let's see how it turns out- in the office or in the dumpster. Hahaha. Or worse, we might need an autoclave...hahahahaha.
On other news, my adversary leaves for Bangkok today at around 2pm, but not before calling me up the night before his flight off:
- Jrep: So anong gusto mo? (referring to pasalubong)
- Ako: Malay, ewan, I don't even like the question. Ano bang meron dun?
- Jrep: *thinks* Wala.
- Ako: Nakapunta ka na ba doon?
- Jrep: Oo.
- Ako: So ano ngang meron?
- Jrep: *thinks* Wala. (talk about repetition) Hmm...meron, spicy food...di naman pwede, pagkain un eh. Elepante...sige yun na lang.
- Ako: Ay nako wag na, di ko na kailangan nun. Anjan ka naman eh.
I hate to say it, but I'm feeling the cold coming through.
What illness is this? Seems like no meds will do
Just then it hits me- I realize...I'm missing you.
And then I ask next...
I'm missing who?
Hahahahahahahahaha okok I need to post and get off this lunacy chair...NOW.
happy birthday mark- belated na
Wala lang, just posted this for my amusement. :) Hehehe. I love them all. Happy birthday mark. Kahit belated hahaha.
Anyway at the moment andito sa bahay si rep. Hahaha. Nagpapa-epal na naman. Di naman welcome ito pero sige na, nakapasok, weh di ba welcome poor strangers so, hahahaha...
Fine, I invited him...ayun. Hehehe.
Bulgaran Activity
It is funny how a moment in one's life can change everything that's coming next. I am quite certain that all of us can relate to this in varying degrees. I say this by my experience today, which I feel I am not quite over with yet. Perhaps it will be one of those fond memories which I will find myself reminiscing under a deep moonlit night- a far better replacement of an ugly memory which finally sizzles and melts into the dark background forever.
Background: In order to address the problem of 'division' in our batch, my concerned adviser planned a most revealing afternoon for all of us after her lecture today. And so we did...
Personal Impression: At first I was not too excited about it, being the negativist that I was, naturally. I was plagued with the feeling that it won't work since people might just ridicule it and go on with the course of things as part of the class activity. But the events that took place later on had me swallowing up all that I thought about it, hehehe, siyempre. Just goes to show that the most exciting things sometimes come as surprises in the weirdest settings.
The Activity Proper: At Alex's suggestion, we passed a piece of bond paper each with our names on it, and in 30 seconds we would write down what we think of each other. In the end the goal is to have the whole class write down their feelings about each other all in every bond paper.
My Change of Heart: At first I was still uncertain of how much to write, for I was clearly not into the said activity. But then when I caught a few glimpses of Ody's transparent messages on the paper sheets being passed on to me, I eventually resolved to take this rare opportunity to heart and write down as I felt.
Mostly I wrote yearnings of friendship for those whom I haven't had a chance to get to know, and for those I experienced being hurt with, I wrote simply that and ended up with the assurance that it's all in the past and that I wanted to be good friends with them. Of course to my special friends I had mushy messages scribbled messily with love in green ink. :) An option to remain anonymous was open, but I didn't take it, feeling confident enough to show myself as is.
Result: Most wrote about me being such a good writer and artist. Some even wrote to say that I was mabait and caring and sweet and...some things I didn't think they would say about me. My first college friend ever, si Kat, reminded me of her friendship with me no matter what (awww to the nth level!!!). Another, a guy (Jam!), unexpectedly gave me the awws upon his mention of me teaching him a song in the guitar, which happened during the first year. And he remembers? Wow...
On the flip side there's that infamous 'malas girl' which some people think I am (Alex! Tadz!). Another called me a feminist (who are you)...yes, but that's just so shallow, coz frankly I no longer am. Someone reminded me to come on time on duty days so I would not have to make up for lost time (hehehe, Josh). I was overwhelmed with the sincerity that everyone showed.
The Speeches: I made a speech, thanking all of them in class. But I was really struck with Sai's speech about the division in class. I have to salute her for that. I hugged her tightly after that session for her courageous voice. I also have to say that Minnie really suprised me with so much force- she actually stood up! I felt my chest swelling with pride as she spoke, with no pretense and yet having that ounce of respect for the people whom she has issues with.
I was affected so much by the stand of Jords when she expressed her personal feelings regarding the comments given. I was compelled to talk with her heart-to-heart after the session, especially when she mentioned to me through the note-passing that she wanted to see more than my crazy and positive sides. I had to stop and think for a moment about it.
The Moment of Truth: Something about the event of enlightenment (which turned out to be an obvious success for almost everybody) compelled me to speak to my circle of friends and tell them my deepest, darkest secret. Yes, you read me right- Peach has a deep dark secret, hahaha...shhh! (Yeah right...) Anyway wala lang, to summarize I just held them all by the hand and told them something which rendered me completely vulnerable to them forever. Hahaha. Ewan, alam naman niyo ko, emo girl at napaka-sensitive, kahit nagmumukhang stone age pa (aka batman- bato na manhid pa, according to Miss Aguilar of SJ whom I met on the way tonight). I felt so happy and complete to have lost that last part of me which I've been holding on to for the longest time. I did not expose myself to bring about chaos- I simply gave myself the chance to trust my friends in the highest form I know of. In return, I hope they feel and know that I love them- this I perhaps underscore in this profound revelation of mine tonight.
Free Hugs: Hugs came freely after the activity. I will never forget my bes taking me into a hug, but not before calling me, "My best friend..." in the process. It was a perfectly endearing moment for me to keep for life. Sana alam niyang he means so much to me.
Ok. Enough said, hahaha. I want to do my stuff, especially my bro's book report on some Shakespearean comedy. I want to express my yearning for Ahia Andrew, Tif and Bech. Somehow I wish we can spend time together this week...hmm...ay, at isa pa, sana matuloy pala kami ng labas ni Jrepaps ko, lam ko malaki na utang ko dun sa gimmick time, coz I always find a way to blow his plans with me when we go out. Hahahaha. Sorry ba...it's me, with the strict sched, limitations, and yeah- there's my mother to note as well, hahahaha.
Background: In order to address the problem of 'division' in our batch, my concerned adviser planned a most revealing afternoon for all of us after her lecture today. And so we did...
Personal Impression: At first I was not too excited about it, being the negativist that I was, naturally. I was plagued with the feeling that it won't work since people might just ridicule it and go on with the course of things as part of the class activity. But the events that took place later on had me swallowing up all that I thought about it, hehehe, siyempre. Just goes to show that the most exciting things sometimes come as surprises in the weirdest settings.
The Activity Proper: At Alex's suggestion, we passed a piece of bond paper each with our names on it, and in 30 seconds we would write down what we think of each other. In the end the goal is to have the whole class write down their feelings about each other all in every bond paper.
My Change of Heart: At first I was still uncertain of how much to write, for I was clearly not into the said activity. But then when I caught a few glimpses of Ody's transparent messages on the paper sheets being passed on to me, I eventually resolved to take this rare opportunity to heart and write down as I felt.
Mostly I wrote yearnings of friendship for those whom I haven't had a chance to get to know, and for those I experienced being hurt with, I wrote simply that and ended up with the assurance that it's all in the past and that I wanted to be good friends with them. Of course to my special friends I had mushy messages scribbled messily with love in green ink. :) An option to remain anonymous was open, but I didn't take it, feeling confident enough to show myself as is.
Result: Most wrote about me being such a good writer and artist. Some even wrote to say that I was mabait and caring and sweet and...some things I didn't think they would say about me. My first college friend ever, si Kat, reminded me of her friendship with me no matter what (awww to the nth level!!!). Another, a guy (Jam!), unexpectedly gave me the awws upon his mention of me teaching him a song in the guitar, which happened during the first year. And he remembers? Wow...
On the flip side there's that infamous 'malas girl' which some people think I am (Alex! Tadz!). Another called me a feminist (who are you)...yes, but that's just so shallow, coz frankly I no longer am. Someone reminded me to come on time on duty days so I would not have to make up for lost time (hehehe, Josh). I was overwhelmed with the sincerity that everyone showed.
The Speeches: I made a speech, thanking all of them in class. But I was really struck with Sai's speech about the division in class. I have to salute her for that. I hugged her tightly after that session for her courageous voice. I also have to say that Minnie really suprised me with so much force- she actually stood up! I felt my chest swelling with pride as she spoke, with no pretense and yet having that ounce of respect for the people whom she has issues with.
I was affected so much by the stand of Jords when she expressed her personal feelings regarding the comments given. I was compelled to talk with her heart-to-heart after the session, especially when she mentioned to me through the note-passing that she wanted to see more than my crazy and positive sides. I had to stop and think for a moment about it.
The Moment of Truth: Something about the event of enlightenment (which turned out to be an obvious success for almost everybody) compelled me to speak to my circle of friends and tell them my deepest, darkest secret. Yes, you read me right- Peach has a deep dark secret, hahaha...shhh! (Yeah right...) Anyway wala lang, to summarize I just held them all by the hand and told them something which rendered me completely vulnerable to them forever. Hahaha. Ewan, alam naman niyo ko, emo girl at napaka-sensitive, kahit nagmumukhang stone age pa (aka batman- bato na manhid pa, according to Miss Aguilar of SJ whom I met on the way tonight). I felt so happy and complete to have lost that last part of me which I've been holding on to for the longest time. I did not expose myself to bring about chaos- I simply gave myself the chance to trust my friends in the highest form I know of. In return, I hope they feel and know that I love them- this I perhaps underscore in this profound revelation of mine tonight.
Free Hugs: Hugs came freely after the activity. I will never forget my bes taking me into a hug, but not before calling me, "My best friend..." in the process. It was a perfectly endearing moment for me to keep for life. Sana alam niyang he means so much to me.
Ok. Enough said, hahaha. I want to do my stuff, especially my bro's book report on some Shakespearean comedy. I want to express my yearning for Ahia Andrew, Tif and Bech. Somehow I wish we can spend time together this week...hmm...ay, at isa pa, sana matuloy pala kami ng labas ni Jrepaps ko, lam ko malaki na utang ko dun sa gimmick time, coz I always find a way to blow his plans with me when we go out. Hahahaha. Sorry ba...it's me, with the strict sched, limitations, and yeah- there's my mother to note as well, hahahaha.
This is my latest matinong pic just a week before my dreadful exam week. Hahaha. Anyway...
I miss my sj friends...si Bern, Shuri, Tif, Therese, Hersch, si Pau, si Qua, si Jodi, si Os, si Jep...even si Jonathan. Hay.
I feel that I should rest. Also read the word and see what God has to say. And maybe spend time with my sj friends. Wala naman kaming prob ni rep kasi lagi naman kami nagkikita, nakakasawa nang mang-away, hahahaha (yeah right).
Sa nursing friends ko, actually nadadagdagan sila, especially from the lower years, si Theresa and si Jay. Si Mervs occasionally nangungulit, which is definitely a good stress reliever especially during the exams...
Sa mga gorgeous birds, well I occasionally talk with Jo but I dearly miss having lots of good times with him. Si Mark lagi ko namang kasama, siyempre kasangga ko yan, sort of. And of course with Yani we are a triad, although I have to say na iba nga ang triad na yan sa individual relationship ko with each of them. I would say napamahal na silang dalawa sa kin nang ibang lebel...awww, hahaha. Pati rin naman si Sigh, Jords, Julie, and KR, pero of course I think getting close to them requires more time to spend...
This Week:
Aside from my first third year exams, this week has really been a very trying week for me. I am glad I resolved it after 24 hours, although of course andun ang remnants of regret...pero ok na ko. :)
Next Week:
Tests. Cell regrouping. My double date with Rep and my Aunt on Wednesday. Let's see what happens...SONA!!!
A Sit-down:
I just have to write this down. I was tasked by my Socio prof to do a report on the status of the soldiers of today. And the fearful speaker that I was I asked her if I could do a movie instead. Honestly I have never done one because I have this serious notion that only hopeless nonartists can't do projects nicely without media help. So this was definitely a biggie for me.
I studied the program in three days, gathered all my pics from the net outside (kasi nawalang ng net during the time I was working on this), and worked on it. The result was a big very good from sister vinoya, my prof, which meant a lot because we all know her for being strict and her high standards in requirements (woo-hoo).
Ayun. I was not expecting to take the subject matter seriously, but I was really alarmed when I found out the salary of a military combantant here in out country: P240.00...a month!!!
Which is why I support the bill Trillanes is passing- to make that bit of an 'incentive' bigger, like maybe P60-P120 a day or something...go go senator, do it legally and you'll get through...
Ay, basta. No wonder the soldiers don't mind going wild sometimes when the time calls for it. For example, the Oakwood mutiny was actually because of their allegation that the government sold war weapons to the enemies (MILF).
Ay, and another mark of corruption here- I'm sure that you guys have been seeing news of many mariners getting killed, and 10 of them getting beheaded due to a rescue operation in attempt of getting the priest Giancarlo Bossi out of Basilan. Well, the reason- well, let's say it's a factor- that they lost the fight that way is because the mortars they got from the storage in the base are all defective. They had to hurry and change them so that they can fight.
And in whose time the defects were bought- now that's the question they are supposed to answer now so someone will pay...let the government do the investigation.
And come to think of it...just something funny I read out of a blog: bakit naman hindi papalpak kung ang pinuno palpak rin? :P
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)