Swearing off formalities, wahahaha! (in my bloggie at least)

Look around this work of art...ganda na at maaliwalas, d ba? Hay, kung makakapagsalita lang tng blog ko now, it'd strike a brilliant pose and ask: How do I look?

Anyway, etong pagpapalit-anyo ng aking personal na espasyo dito ay marahil dahil na rin kay Tif at sa paghanap nya sa peach touch ko (informal, reckless, bubbly, at parang teks ang dating) na hindi ko namalayang dahan-dahan nang nawala (salamat, Tif!). Bakit kamo niyo nawala? Well, sabihin na lang natin na parang kalsada iyan jan sa harap ng bahay namin- baku-baku na so nag-under construction, hahaha!

No, honestly my stay here in Malabon has triggered a 'spritiual growth spurt,' as I prefer to put it. At siyempre, tulad ng kahit anong bagay na kailangan ng malaking pagbabago, kailangan ko ring dumaan ng ilang significant 'moments' kung saan ako'y napapaisip...inaayos ang sarili upang maging mas matatag at mas karapat-dapat sa ating iisang pinakamamahal. Kaya iyan, ilang linggo rin akong iba ang isip.

Pero wala naman akong pagsisisi- sa katunayan, tulad ng nasabi ko sa karamihan sa inyo, I don't think I have ever felt happier in my whole life than this, with the satisfaction of a love that I have sometimes lost, and with a deeper understand of the meaning of purposeful living. Drama ba? Hahahaha! Ganyan talaga si Peach, ano...yan naman ang di ko mababago...iiyak at madudulas pa rin sa putik itong mukhang to, mabibigo ang kalooban at masasaktan, pero maganda pa rin ang hair!

Nah, seriously- huwag nating kalimutan na kasama ng mga kabiguang iyon, marami pang pagkakataong tumawa, mang-gudtym ng mga logets, umap-d8 with the circle of friends at maghanap pa ng iba, kiligin with cuties (Taski!), mag-o2jamming, atbp...happiness is a choice, ika nga. Oo nga naman, ang hirap naman kasi kung lagi na lang tyong sasabay sa alon (tulad na lang ng pagiging pormal ko sa blog noong ilang entries past)...isipin niyo na lang- only DEAD fish swim with the current! Ayos ba? :P

Mga friends, miss ko na kyo so update me through any means possible, cool b tyo jan?:) Hugs...

When I am met by my past mistakes

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR TRUE UGLY STUFF ABOUT ME, BETTER SKIP THIS ENTRY.

Here is a fact- I mostly hate the silence of solitude and dearly embrace the hustle and bustle of togetherness and cheer. Why? Coz with all the noise (that I mostly make too) and work that I am capable of putting into my daily sched, I am not soo entitled to think and brood and build castles in the air...being busy keeps one from doing that. But in silence? Man, I hate it, coz this is when my mistakes in my past haunt me, making me say, "Hay nako."

Hay nako. To the time when I acted upon impulse and kept a closed mind, making me lose my friends for a few good years. To the time I slapped James for teasing me. To the time I cried in front of the class. To the times I cried upon my chores and made my mother upset. To the time when I chose to be pressured by my peers and the society in order to keep up with what's supposedly acceptable and fun. To my first (and hopefully last) catfight before with my now close friend. To the time I cried in front of Eugene. To the time when I separated myself from the class and the batch just because I was too proud to reach out to them. To the time when I misjudged Bern. To the time when I shouted at Shuri. To that time when I made Tif cry. To the times I wallowed in self-pity. To the time I made Therese feel that I left her. To the time I fought with Jonreph because of Math problems. To the time when I 'attacked' someone who hurt my friend (which I think was wrong). To the time when I waged war against my big bro. To the time when I became a liability to my groupmates. To the time when I stepped on other people's toes. To the time when I refused to surrender my love life to the Lord. To the time when I complained and grumbled when God led me to be his nursing student. To the time I doubted Paulo's integrity. To the time I thought badly of Shane. To the times I escaped and exposed myself to all sorts of unnecessary dangers just because I was too selfish consider my mother's feelings. To the time I felt so unworthy to be in my circle of friends because Tif was soo smart, Bern was so brave to the point of recklessness, Therese was becoming a great leader, Shuri was a techie genius, and Pau seemed to have everything in control, etc. To the times I did O2 instead of chores and having a complete date with the Lord. To the time I thought Christian would leave me as easy as he came. To the times I have cried in self-pity because of wanting so much to be in the same university as my friends'.

I know we all have our skeletons in the closet. I have a whole bunch of them...this blog entry might not even be enough to contain them all. I fear the silence a lot because these wrongs that I have done before come back to me fresh through my thoughts. I fear being left alone without someone to talk with because I feel that if these mistakes go on haunting me long enough I'd go mad and feel depressed for a period of time.

I am praying that in time I would be able to let go and let Jesus open the door for me when these haunting thoughts come knocking again in the future.

Disturbances...

I feel deeply disturbed. Besides this anti-tetanus and anti-hepa b booster that got my shoulders feeling like it's been overworking out, hahaha...my heart is feeling uneasy, although the catalyst is at the moment taking his zzz's, grrr...hahahaha!

I met up with my friend today who has been feeling too much sentiments recently after getting sort of 'betrayed.' Sentiments...soo contagious...haay.

So what am I feeling disturbed about? Honestly, I can't pinpoint it now...nobody said peach can easily do that despite feeling almost certain about her emotional probs most of the time, hehehe.

Friends. We all have friends. Some of us even have more than that. But do you know that God says friendship is the best kind of relationship we can have?:) I can tell that most of us can relate to that, tell a story of faithfulness and stuff...being free to be yourself in front of someone...to love and be loved without condition...indeed, friendship is a heavenly gift for those of us who have found the real thing.

I have no problem with that. I can go on for a day telling anyone about how blessed I am in this aspect of my life. But then...

My friend, who's recently in pain...well...he said some things to me which I have never heard from someone else...and upon hearing these things I feel soo unworthy. So weak.

This evening, in the middle of a laugh/bad trip he wanted me to promise that I "will never leave him no matter what happens."

Suddenly upon facing his request I realize I am not strong enough. Yes, I could answer, "Sure, I can!" And go on promising that I will be faithful and that I won't leave him like his other friends did.

But I didn't. I didn't have the nerve. It would have been a lie if I did. I am, after all, human. I have limitations. And the roads of life do not really go parallel as they are crossing each other.

But I can do so much for my friends. I can be loyal as much as I can be. I can fight for them. I can stay beside them. I can laugh and cry with them. I can enjoy bouts of happiness with them. My letters to them tell a lot about these. I give them my love while the time is right. While I am alive.

But people change. One day I might be off somewhere, working in a different setting, having a new set of friends. Although I can keep the old ones in my heart...physically, I have to leave them...eventually.

But my dear friends, we are not alone in this life. We have Jesus, our bestest friend, no matter what. And I feel that it is up to us to give it to Him to keep us in the arms of our friends (come on, He's God, so he's got the best planner).

So if things do not go as planned...if we find ourselves alone...even when we are betrayed by someone very dear to us...siya na ang bahala. In eveything naman eh...if we give it up to Him, we are surely walking on solid ground.

So to my friend's request of promising, all I could reply was, "...in God's grace." :)

The Da Vinci Code (R-18)

Peach rating: 8

Artists and book fanatics all over the world call it, 'A work of art.' Opus Dei labeled it, 'A work of fiction.' The Vatican condemn it, 'A work of evil.' But however we prefer to name it, The Da Vinci Code is selling to millions, this time onscreen and finally out with a lot controversey. It opened nationwide here in the Philippines on May 18, 2006, despite the protests of some officials of the MTRCB and the futile action of the Roman Catholic church to stop it from coming in.

OK, but first of all, why the R-rating? From what I have seen, I think it is justified by a couple of necessary scenes. The first one is the dead body of Sauniere in Vitruvian fashion. No, of course they won't really show 'his nakedness,' as I prefer to put it, but it is still something mindless minors shouldn't see. The second one is Silas' self torture ('pain-is-good' belief). Again, sorry to the gays, no albino nakedness exposed. I cringed at the way it was shown. Either it was because I was too soft-hearted or the actor was just waay too good.

Having read the book during my senior year in SJ, I had no doubt with the quality of the story. The primary question that sat on my mind was, "Will the actors deliver?"

7 Positive points:
  • The first scene opens with Sauniere running from his killer, Silas. I was surpised and happy with it because it was exactly as I had perceived it during my readings. The killing of the nun as he broke the Rose Line was also shown in accurate details.
  • I initially thought that Tom Hanks as Robert Langdon wasn't exactly fitting, because I have the idea that the book character was supposedly younger-looking. But he showed otherwise. With the way he hadled his role, all I could say was, 'Sweet!'
  • I laughed pleasantly at the fact that they chose the actor who played Magneto ni X-Men to play Sir Leigh Teabing and the actor who played Doctor Octopus in Spiderman 2 to be Bishop Aringarosa. I respect these actors for their great talent in effectively playing characters with twisted minds and double personas.
  • I loved the suspense, especially that part with Silas jumping at Robert all of a sudden while he was having a heated discussion with Teabing.
  • The guy who played the Captain was really good with his acting.
  • The cryptex, along with all the props, was beautiful and very detailed. The cillice that Silas wore and his lash wounds- all believable.
  • The best positive point of all is that, while almost all book-movies do unsatisfactory cuts that make the movie unclear and incomplete, this movie was 'necessarily cut' in a most perfect fashion. What I mean with this is that, they omitted the other book details with respect to the running time and changed the story a bit without losing its essence.
7 Unimpressive points-
  • I think other actresses would have given life to Sophie's character more effectively than the one in the movie.
  • The music was not too good.
  • I didn't like the way Silas died in the movie (I understand that the running time was very limited, but still..!)
  • Teabing's revelation and sinister character was not given too much importance in the movie.
  • Langdon's display of subtle humor (come on, he's Tom Hanks, he can do more with a better script!) was too limited.
  • The Bishop seemed too young (I'd buy it if they had dyed his hair with a hint of gray).
  • And the worst? The latter part where the revelations were made became too mushy and overwhelming. I wish they had spread the revelations evenly without overflowing the ending with too much information.

R-18, smelly taxi driver, and 1/3 cup of urine

I finally took my lab test yesterday in ust hospital with Mark after eating a can of pineapple and two bags of clover last night before sleeping. If you're wondering what my feeding habits have to do with it, well I didn't eat a lot during the day, so I took the opportunity to fill my stomach with something so that on the following day I'd have something to give the laboratory. Feces.

Urine was another requirement. I filled only 1/3 of the cup (which I instantly thought looked like the container of kfc mashed potato). And blood! There was a long line outside, but it took me about 15 minutes before I finally let them have it (the medical technicians were sort of sympathetic, save for one). Man, thank God that's over.

To celebrate, Mark and I ate hot shots, fun shots, and fries at kfc while Sahia and Bianca ate at McDo while waiting for me (I think they're cute, hehehe). Later they dropped me off back to SJ church yard. I ran to the school canteen to meet up with Herschel and Desiree, as planned.

First we roamed around the new building of the school. Then we rode 2 jeeps to Robinsons. We first decided to buy movie tickets for the 1:40 showing of The Da Vinci Code. Unfortunately they wouldn't buy the fact that we were 18 already (Iwas 19 and even wearing high shoes, come on!). Herschel and I showed some blooper documents, but Des had no way in, even though she already agreed to let them talk to her Dad to prove that she was indeed 18.

So we went downstairs where there were lots of people. We put a seious face and silently gave our money. I heard the lady ask how old I was but I simply pretended not to hear and quickly finished the transaction.

There! We had tickets to the movie. We ate first at Pancake house. I had my first taste of tacos (pinwersa ni Des). Laater we ran (literally) to the movies and sat right on time.

Later we went to the bookstore. I purchased, "Boy Meets Girl" by Joshua Harris, sequel to his, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye."

We went home after that. Des came in a taxi with me. The driver's body odor was really dizzying. Fortuantely we distracted ourselves with a good conversation about our courses. And she had to go.

I hate goodbyes.

Of eagles, starbucks, blue-assed chimps

And I thought happy gimmicks only happened in party settings and malls...

It was a hot hot Saturday afternoon when Sha and I finally arrived at The Zoo in Ninoy Aquino Park, having accepted Bequa's invitation to come for a little reunion. Her older bro Jershwin had volunteered to take care of endagered species here, and is now training a beautiful 4 year-old female eagle named Paobe (taken at airport customs). Bequa had thought of taking advantage of the situation and having fun with us (and the animals), so she called us for the gathering.

Background check: I did not escape from the clutches of my Ma. In fact I had her permission, provided that someone would drive me there. That's the job of Sha's older law stud friend (age withheld upon request :P), Techkie, whom I find very intriguing.

We were just in time for the live show. The current owner of The Zoo (also celebrating his birthday- the next host mentioned later), Andrew, did the hosting. The crowd that had gathered to listen comprised mostly of the kids, not caring to hide their eagerness to touch the reptiles and birds and answer questions in exchange for fun prizes. Andrew mentioned some interesting trivia about the place and the animals as we had a minipicnic there while somewhere at the center, giving us a very good view of the stage.

Food: According to Bequa, we should eat some of it as not to waste 'yung pagdekwat ni Ahia niyan!' Although there were three meals, we only opened one and shared- one of the most intimate meals I've ever had, with all of us giving a spoon to each other once in a while. (Later the plastic fork I was using for tearing the meat had only 2 tines left after the meal...)

There were special portions of the show where every reptile and eagle presented were paraded around the seats for everyone to touch. There was a turtle, a tortoise, an eagle, a parrot, a white cockatoo, an albino python and another type of python. We did not participate because it was clearly for the kids, but when the host suddenly asked for an older volunteer, I quickly raised my hand up in the air, anticipating that he'd call me in to assist, but he merely smiled and replied (on the mic), 'no friends', much to my disappointment.

After the show, we hurried over to where Jershwin was resting and asked permission to hold his newfound friend, which he's been training now once a week. The trick was to wear a thick glove, close your fist, and nudge the back of your arm slightly on the eagle's chest level. That's when it'd flutter and hop a ride on your arm.

4 no-no's in handling such majestic beasts: 1. do not use flashes in taking pics 2. no joking about hurting or letting the python swallow it, especially in front of the caretakers (as Sha had done, much to the owner's anger when he heard it) 3. do not pet the head 4. do not handle with bare hands- the talons can pierce the skin!

The venue: The ambience of the place was really refreshing, and with trees and more trees around, one would forget that it's actually in QC! It was relaxation time, a quiet time to think, reminisce on the good old days, and walk with friends. :) The place was big. There was a zoo on one part. The bird show area had booths for face paints, accessories, souvenirs, and pictures. There was also a lake of fishes, tadpoles, dragonflies, and God knows what there that I didn't want to look at because it made my heart break, hay.

Three hours after, Jonreph, Ian, and Jefferson finally managed to come- but not before getting lost by touring on their own when they're new to the place. Bequa sermoned like a mother to poor adventure-seeking rat Rep through Sha's Sun cell upon finding out. Later, we just met on the road to the zoo. We watched the feeding of eagles and toured the zoo after that.

The feeding: Feeding eagles is in fact a very delicate task. The bird only feeds once a day, and the trainer feeds it with raw beef (not the usual chick prey as to keep it from attacking other creatures when they're older). It does not feed in summer- a point that Jershwin had missed, because he kept on feeding his eagle when it did not seem too pleased about it.

Interesting species:

Making out cockatoos- We noticed two white cockatoos with locked beaks, crooning while perched in the cage. I quickly figured it was a delousing ritual, but Ian insisted some meaning to it and fished out his camera to capture it, only to realize that they had finished. The birds must have felt bad with Ian disturbing their privacy, hahahaha!

Eagle owl- You guys recall the wise owl in Winnie The Pooh? Well, there's a bird here that looks exactly like it! It had these really wide questioning eyes, staring at spectators, as if asking, 'what?' Hehehe. I first thought it was fascinating, until it suddenly reminded me of one of Rep's frequented places, Wise Hotel (for those who know nothing, it's like Anito, Victoria Court, and so on...).;p

Mouse deer- The deer was licking at the rusty hinges of its cage door. Rep first assumed jokingly that it was trying to scratch its nose. Jeff later came and said that it was trying to lick the hinges with hopes of making it melt (for it to escape)! Wahahaha

Baboon- The big red-butt baboon was funny, but it was by the cage of the blue-butt chimps that we made our best guesses. The blue butt seemed bizzarre for us. Ian theorized that it was a sign that the chimp was ready to mate. I theorized that the color was merely a marking- so the monkey in heat won't miss the target area, hahahaha!

Jonreph- yes he's a dull, uninteresting rat- but that's not the point. On our way to the exit, we saw this stubby kid wearing blue sando and shorts walking. I could not help but share to Rep how much it looked like his mini version. We were laughing all the way when they realized it too.

Trajectory! We went back to the lake and looked at the pythons again, this time touching them and asking their trainers about them. But another fun time came for us when I pulled them to the side of the lake. I hit Ian when he made a snide comment on my ridiculous hesitation to look at the lake scenery. My shoe sole got pulled off after the walk. Bequa initiated the bouncing of rocks on water. She did three jumps. I didn't do any good one. Grr. Perhaps another day...

Later we went to Starbucks (my third time!), SM North, for a little cooldown. We told some stories, corny jokes, and good-time gimmicks while drinking. I settled for vanilla cream- also the item Hershey had offered me during my first time in Starbucks (Katipunan) about two years ago.

I panicked when it was time for me to go home. I felt slightly bad about giving Sha something to worry about. Her driver took me and the Quas home as soon as her ma had arrived. On the way we talked about basketball. And when I was left alone, I chatted with George, the driver, who was nice enough to give some extent of moral support when I became more nervous about my ma. But when I came home, she was not there to scold me. I texted her to apologize, hehehe. :P

I felt really thankful for that rare and surprising opportunity to enjoy without going to the mall or a party. Largely it was due to the pressence of my friends, who constantly make me yearn for my high school life back, hahaha...

Birthday Girl Is Happy

April 25, 2006- I celebrated by 19th birthday. People kept teasing me that I was gurang na and matanda na and all that, hehehe. Yes, I felt kind of reflective and lonely about this, but all I can say is that I am happy for what I am now, including 'my bad's and 'nice one's. I used to have this fear of growing up because children seem happier than the adults, but now I think it is a necessary evil, being human and all, hehehe. No, maybe it is more of a purpose. :) Yep, it is...

Weeks before my birthday my favorite aunt gave me a silver anklet- my first anklet- as a birthday present to me.

Days before my birthday I got my first real greeting from looking at Christian's blog (he sang the birthday song and posted it there, hahaha) and thought he might have miscalculated, hahahaha. Nice try, though- it gave me a bit of the anticipation then.

The best gift I got for my birthday came just two days before the real day. Shuri. For discretion purposes I don't think I'd elaborate. I am just happy that Shuri's back.

A day before my birthday I displayed the birthday song in my YM without realizing that it was going to become a bait for those who did not really know the exact date! I soon found myself explaining briefly to a few people (Jordi, Lorenz, Kat, Robin) about the unintended bluff. Jonreph and Bern reacted differently, and did not fall for it (duh, if they did, that would be a shame, hehehe). I also talked with Rea.

I was a bit lonely when I realized that two of my closest friends would not be around: Paulo and Bern. But later on, I felt hopeful as Bern told me a day before that she was not going until the 26th or way later...yes!

When the clock struck 12 at 4-25-06, Bern sent to me a text and also typed the birthday song in YM with alternating big small letters, so that's really effortful (or so she claimed, hehehe). But much to her disappointment, Ma was waay ahead of time, and sent a text, much to her disappointment. The funny thing about this is that, Ma was just a room away when she sent the message, so I really laughed. Bern took it on Jonreph and laughed at him for greeting ten minutes later (shallow, hahahah!).

I slept that night while hoping for a miracle that Ma would allow me to go have lunch with some of my closest friends.

Next morning, my prayers were not in vain when Ma pushed me out of bed, telling me to hurry up if I'm going. And gladly I did, slowly digesting the good news as I packed a few clothes and got in the car without changing my night clothes (lest Albert becomes late because of me). I quickly texted Jonreph, Bern, and Shuri about it.

I stopped over for my bath and grooming at the mansion at 8am (rented place in Mendiola) and had breakfast at Shuri's (pan de sal, cheeesedog, h20, with piano and chika on the side). The greetings came in really fast. 12nn we walked with Jonreph to Greenwich. Bern followed just minutes later carrying 19 roses on a bouquet- which came to me as a very pleasant surprise. Bern, Shuri, and I had the same drinks and food (chicken and lasagna); Rep preferred chicken. I also bought assorted pizza squares, which we slowly finished.

Rep and Bern suggested Gateway for the rest of the time I had with them, but I didn't want to risk it (I was due at 2pm). So we stayed there and talked endlessly until all the customers sitting on the second floor left. We decided to use Bern's phone cam and began to take a lot of pictures (and scandal vids, hehehe).

I was called back by my brother at around 2:30pm. I urged the three of them to go to Gateway and play that House of The Dead game or something. I hurried back and rode home.

At home I felt sad that it had to be over, haay. I had a lot of chores still left undone. The sink was full and the weekly laundry was still wet (grr). But I finished and made small business talk with my Pa. There's a problem, though- he doesn't even know my birthdate! So he was flaring and he didn't really want to fight with me...so maybe this one part that I didn't feel like jumping about my birthday, hehehe.

Night. I treated my fam with pizza while waiting for the washing machine to be filled with water. I watched some shows, played guitar and composed another song. Then I took a bath, chores again, then the laundry again while texting, and then waay later I decided to sleep beside mama, who was busily doing her cross stitch. We watched some crime suspense shows, had a good talk, and I fell asleep...un na un, hehehe.

Thanks to:
Calls received for the day: Rep, Sha, Papa, Christian
Ecard: Herschel
Bouquet: Bern (thanks rin for coming to see me and more than that!)
Texts: Di-i, Christian, Mama, Bern, Rep, Shuri, Siku, Uncle Joel, Shane, Diku, Therese, Jordi, Julie, Arianne, Ian, Jefferson, Tiffany, Sha, Aunt Lilia, Cob, Bianca, Bequa...(I hope I didn't forget anyone here...)

Ok people, it's April 26, 6pm...have not eaten rice for the day because I was not feeling hungry...but now my stomach is wailing in protest, so I have to zoom for the kitchen! I'm 19 years old, I can't believe it...thank God...