Bulgaran Activity

It is funny how a moment in one's life can change everything that's coming next. I am quite certain that all of us can relate to this in varying degrees. I say this by my experience today, which I feel I am not quite over with yet. Perhaps it will be one of those fond memories which I will find myself reminiscing under a deep moonlit night- a far better replacement of an ugly memory which finally sizzles and melts into the dark background forever.

Background: In order to address the problem of 'division' in our batch, my concerned adviser planned a most revealing afternoon for all of us after her lecture today. And so we did...

Personal Impression: At first I was not too excited about it, being the negativist that I was, naturally. I was plagued with the feeling that it won't work since people might just ridicule it and go on with the course of things as part of the class activity. But the events that took place later on had me swallowing up all that I thought about it, hehehe, siyempre. Just goes to show that the most exciting things sometimes come as surprises in the weirdest settings.

The Activity Proper: At Alex's suggestion, we passed a piece of bond paper each with our names on it, and in 30 seconds we would write down what we think of each other. In the end the goal is to have the whole class write down their feelings about each other all in every bond paper.

My Change of Heart: At first I was still uncertain of how much to write, for I was clearly not into the said activity. But then when I caught a few glimpses of Ody's transparent messages on the paper sheets being passed on to me, I eventually resolved to take this rare opportunity to heart and write down as I felt.

Mostly I wrote yearnings of friendship for those whom I haven't had a chance to get to know, and for those I experienced being hurt with, I wrote simply that and ended up with the assurance that it's all in the past and that I wanted to be good friends with them. Of course to my special friends I had mushy messages scribbled messily with love in green ink. :) An option to remain anonymous was open, but I didn't take it, feeling confident enough to show myself as is.

Result: Most wrote about me being such a good writer and artist. Some even wrote to say that I was mabait and caring and sweet and...some things I didn't think they would say about me. My first college friend ever, si Kat, reminded me of her friendship with me no matter what (awww to the nth level!!!). Another, a guy (Jam!), unexpectedly gave me the awws upon his mention of me teaching him a song in the guitar, which happened during the first year. And he remembers? Wow...

On the flip side there's that infamous 'malas girl' which some people think I am (Alex! Tadz!). Another called me a feminist (who are you)...yes, but that's just so shallow, coz frankly I no longer am. Someone reminded me to come on time on duty days so I would not have to make up for lost time (hehehe, Josh). I was overwhelmed with the sincerity that everyone showed.

The Speeches: I made a speech, thanking all of them in class. But I was really struck with Sai's speech about the division in class. I have to salute her for that. I hugged her tightly after that session for her courageous voice. I also have to say that Minnie really suprised me with so much force- she actually stood up! I felt my chest swelling with pride as she spoke, with no pretense and yet having that ounce of respect for the people whom she has issues with.

I was affected so much by the stand of Jords when she expressed her personal feelings regarding the comments given. I was compelled to talk with her heart-to-heart after the session, especially when she mentioned to me through the note-passing that she wanted to see more than my crazy and positive sides. I had to stop and think for a moment about it.

The Moment of Truth: Something about the event of enlightenment (which turned out to be an obvious success for almost everybody) compelled me to speak to my circle of friends and tell them my deepest, darkest secret. Yes, you read me right- Peach has a deep dark secret, hahaha...shhh! (Yeah right...) Anyway wala lang, to summarize I just held them all by the hand and told them something which rendered me completely vulnerable to them forever. Hahaha. Ewan, alam naman niyo ko, emo girl at napaka-sensitive, kahit nagmumukhang stone age pa (aka batman- bato na manhid pa, according to Miss Aguilar of SJ whom I met on the way tonight). I felt so happy and complete to have lost that last part of me which I've been holding on to for the longest time. I did not expose myself to bring about chaos- I simply gave myself the chance to trust my friends in the highest form I know of. In return, I hope they feel and know that I love them- this I perhaps underscore in this profound revelation of mine tonight.

Free Hugs: Hugs came freely after the activity. I will never forget my bes taking me into a hug, but not before calling me, "My best friend..." in the process. It was a perfectly endearing moment for me to keep for life. Sana alam niyang he means so much to me.

Ok. Enough said, hahaha. I want to do my stuff, especially my bro's book report on some Shakespearean comedy. I want to express my yearning for Ahia Andrew, Tif and Bech. Somehow I wish we can spend time together this week...hmm...ay, at isa pa, sana matuloy pala kami ng labas ni Jrepaps ko, lam ko malaki na utang ko dun sa gimmick time, coz I always find a way to blow his plans with me when we go out. Hahahaha. Sorry ba...it's me, with the strict sched, limitations, and yeah- there's my mother to note as well, hahahaha.