Imprisoned thoughts

Because of what I have recently been up to, I am now a pronounced prisoner of this four walls of my current residence by the creek side.

In other words, I am banned for the meantime! Hahahaha!

Seriously I didn't count on my mama to catch up so easily, but she did, and because my brother Keith testified against me (**@$$$&%!!! traitor!!!), that means I get a timeout here. Ma said I am never going out. Ever. Well, she's always given me empty threats...I hope this is one of them.

Her reason: I lie my way out when I can just tell her truth and she would say YES.

My reason for lying: She never agrees. She exaggerates danger when it's always there, apparently. And I would never learn if I can't go city-hopping on an adventure of my own. Besides, the house is boring. New sights are fun.

The Christian way is: Parents are figures of authority in the family. And as long as you are their children you are obliged to follow, unless they order you to do mortal sin. Lying is never justified. Remember that Satan is the Father of all lies. And anything that does not come from God comes from the devil.

My humor is sooo empty as well. It is not funny. Mammita has not been talking to me since I came back home from Tif's, and frankly I am never happy about it.

But then regrets flood my mind as an extra...

Had I known yesterday that things would come this far, I would have given all my remaining stolen moments to Bern and stay with her in her home. Or maybe stayed longer in Tif and Therese's place and watched PBB, see Keanna win and celebrate that moment with them. I would have not refused to eat more of that oversweetened Starbucks chocolate cake. I would have finished Bequa's project better. And had I known that I would not be seeing my Pau for a while, I would have literally pleaded and asked him to stay with me at least until I got on to a jeep yesterday on my way back. I would have told him that I was very sad and disappointed that he couldn't risk his neck for me. And though he'd refuse, I would have swallowed my loneliness and kissed him farewell.

But then, reality check: I didn't.

Which brings me to the subject of regretting when you could have done things differently. Or done things you would have, at least.

I don't think one could ever get through life and actually understand contentment without first going through that kind of feeling. I believe every one of us comes to a point in life when they wish they can change some things they have said and done in the past.

I am thinking it must be part of human nature to want that so much, impossible it may seem. We can repair and mend some things left behind. But to change whole events to match favorable consequences is merely idealistic, and never possible. Which is why we have pain. We have suffering. We go through life with unresolved issues.

But I also believe that there is a God who can save us all from that. A God who can change it all for the better and make us grow from all sorts of mistakes in the past. Here comes the power of prayer. All sorts of beautiful possiblilities can come through this holy connection we have with the Lord. And we undeniably need him whenever something troubles us, something we even speak of as a complaint. And how often is that?

My dear friends, that's everyday.

Now, if only all of us could realize that...