Yeah, we all come to a time when we realize that life's a bitch and so am I. And this is my blog, so I'm venting as much as I want! Nobody will know about it anyway! Bwahahaha. Never mind the attitude, I have always been that way anyway, Hindi ako mabait. I know that. Hahaha. You don't have to tell me I'm a bastard. It's not even a secret. Hahaha. And this is when I embrace myself in a fetal position. It seems like I have always been alone. I don't need to be told that I am just like everyone else, hoping to realize that I am not, but yeah, I am. I don't know what's wrong with my optimistic side- my overwhelming dark side seems to have turned it off for the moment. Eleven hours of sleep did not even remedy the pain. Not a bit. Reading someone's email caused me to feel the raw pain of the wound again, fresh as ever. Who said you can say anything in behalf of the class? ****s to that. You don't even know how I feel about it. You didn't even ask me. You, my dear who once became my sunlight...I know an eclipse has come- so when will it end? I welcomed you and showed you most everything they know nothing about. And I showed you your way into new horizons. You got friends who seemed to be doing a better job at keeping you happy. It hurts to lose at that part of the job description called 'good friend.' But that doesn't entitle me to forcefully quit, right? So what happened to us...to you? What about you, new friend who said you'd love me despite the odds...I hoped you'd understand me the most. Now I make a fatal mistake. You know it. I plead you to understand and help me change for the better. You insult me by challenging my capability to end it all and remedy the mistake. What makes you think you're a good friend for doing that? And you go trying to make me feel that it's not my fault and you're not leaving me...all that ****. I believed in you. It hurts because I sincerely expected you to be there to support me more than anybody else. And you just didn't fail in that...you had to make it worse for me. As for you who thinks of herself all the time. You traitor. You've always stepped on me. But I love you, you bitch, I love you and I don't know what hurts more. And for your friend who thinks she makes everyone feel comfortable and yet gives me a demeaning eye I will never forget...you mess up badly, I take you as you are nevertheless. Now I mess up. What happened to you? I don't know. I'm sorry about this. I know I will be sorry for posting this later on. Maybe I'm just affected so by my stressful semester. Maybe I'm just that darned sensitive. I just feel like someone turned out the lights in my room called life. I just feel like everyone left me to die in claustrophobia. Heck, loneliness can't kill...maybe it's about time I scheduled myself for desensitization treatment.
No, the answer can only be one...and I know it. What am I doing to myself...
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